Unanswered [1] / Urgent [0]
 

Home / Writing Feedback /     

We can't negative wholly benefit from nuclear technology


answers: 4
Apr 14, 2009, 08:55am   #
Please check and correct some mistakes in my topic.Thank you very much
We have been living in the nuclear age now for over half a century. Since the first atomic bombs were developed, nuclear technology has provided governments with the ability to totally destroy the planet. Yet the technology has been put to positive use as an energy source and in certain areas of medicine. To what extent is nuclear technology a danger to life on Earth? What are the benefits and risks associated with its use?

The development of nuclear technology has marked a new step forward of science. We often talk them as atomic bombs which totally destroy the planet and it is condemned more and more during a long time. However, not all the effects of nuclear technology on our life have been passive.
The most obvious positive impact of nuclear technology on our life is the use of nuclear power to destroy things of which mankind never thought. But it is very dangerous when we use wrong purpose. The nuclear power was used as atomic bomb. The first atomic bomb was tested in 1945 but it was used for purpose of war. As a result, Japan is the only country which was bore the consequences of two atomic bombs. Hiroshima and Nagasaki were totally destroy and burnt to the ground with 210.000 victims. But its consequences don't stop. Nowadays, more adverse effect is existed such as leukemia, cancer, boner cancer, lung cancer, and genetic disorder...
Although it is true that nuclear technology has greatly passive in our life but if we can use it judiciously we will get much benefited. Maybe, the most important of nuclear technology in over half of century is applications in health's field such as to decontaminate health equipments; to try new medicines by radioactive isotope; to manufacture equipments to use for diagnostic health as X-ray, mammogram; and to doctor cancer. In addition, we use it in creating new energy which helps mankind very much in the future when natural energy is exhausted. Nowadays, it also applies in agriculture's field to develop various trees, to process food... And many other applications use in our life.
In summary, nuclear technology has a huge influence of life as atomic bomb - nuclear weapon. But we can't negative wholly benefit from nuclear technology. Mankind is using many useful things creating to them.

Apr 14, 2009, 04:51pm   #
i am not that great with essays however is this supposed to be part of a five paragraph essay?

but my ACTUAL feedback is that i feel you said something more like a speech and the conclusion should in my view be a little bit longer.
secret1302:
However, not all the effects of nuclear technology on our life have been passive.


"Passive" does not quite work. "Destructive" maybe?

The most obvious negative impact of nuclear technology on our life is the use of nuclear power to destroy things of which mankind never thought.

Hiroshima and Nagasaki were totally destroy and burnt to the ground with 210,000 victims.

"Passive" does not mean what you think it means. "Passive" means that you do nothing and let things happen without interfering. You seem to think "passive" means "destructive." Change this sentence:

Although it is true that nuclear technology has destructive potential, if we can use it judiciously we will be much benefited.

Good luck! Do not be discouraged. Your English is 90% perfect already, and it will get even better. Read many books that that you have read in your native language and that have been translated into English. That helps, I bet!
Apr 16, 2009, 11:45pm   #
I don't want to discourage you, but your essay at the moment seems a bit pointless. Really, what you are saying is that nuclear technology has positive and negative aspects to it. That's true of just about all technology, from agriculture to cars to television to the internet. If you are going to create something that other people are going to spend time reading, you should say something deeper and more meaningful than that. For instance, maybe you could revise the essay to argue that the positive aspects of nuclear technology outweigh the negative aspects. After all, nuclear weapons are the main reason that Western democracies and the great powers of Russia and China don't engage in direct warfare with each other any more. They are also the reason that India and Pakistan are much more civil towards each other than they used to be. Or, you could focus on what determines how technology gets used. Is there some way we as a society can maximize the positive and minimize the negative, or will the negative always predominate? In short, you need to argue something, rather than simply listing relatively well-known facts about nuclear technology, if you want to have a gripping essay.
Apr 23, 2009, 01:11pm   #
Of course, the mod's are spot on, but I'd like to add that while reading your essay, I was struck mostly by the fact that it is very unclear. "Passive" is an example of that. However, it seems that you have two main viewpoints that are in conflict with each other. Try to bring this out and compare/contrast them. Also, beef out your concluding paragraph and leave the reader with something to "chew on". ;)



Home / Writing Feedback /

Thread closed ✓