Dear EF_Friends, please give me some advice on my essay. Thank you very much for your help.
IELTS Writing Task 2.
People naturally resist making changes in their lives.
What kind of problems can this cause? What solutions can you suggest?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
Although much has been written about how differences and freshness would make our lives more exciting and worth expecting, the reluctance to risk always makes people shut the door on changes instinctively. There are miscellaneous reasons to defend our refusal, but most of these are just too flimsy to excuse us.
Many people refuse to change because the reason for change is unclear. Take corporate reform as an example. Nobody is willing to give up a familiar and established work pattern as long as they are unaware of that the change is the prerequisite of a company's future success. The obvious answer is to eliminate the ambiguity through careful communication. By doing this, employers would salvage many good ideas from the resistance to change.
Some fears of change stem from the suspicion of the expected consequences. Imagine how common it is whenever a breakthrough is claimed in science and technology that it always advances along with doubts and criticisms. A suggestion is being open-minded as well as critical, which should be our attitude towards skepticism. Well, in this way, worries -- however sensitive and sometimes indispensable -- would remind rather than hinder the pioneers from shedding light on a better and easier life for all human beings.
A few of others avoid of changes simply because they fear of failure. Many a change does not promise a positive outcome assertively in the first place. Those who dare not take a risk to try always wait for victory without sacrifice. What if we specify the details of the whole changing process and quantify as realistic as the possible loss and potential success? It would be much easier for us to collect enough courage and stride out the first step.
Yes, we may find no difference, we may lose and life may become worse than before we made any change, but chances are that "Life is either a daring adventure or nothing." Changes should be made with no fear but strong will to win.
I notice that you claim each reason followed by your suggestion.
However, In my opinion, to express your essay clarity, I think a better way would collect your reasons together into a single paragraph, and put the possible suggestions together into another paragraph.
It is my thought, just an advice.
Thank you very much for your advice. For quite a long time, I have kept this question. I wonder which the readers or the examiner would prefer: to state the reasons first and then the relevant solutions, or to state the reasons one by one with the solutions to them. Which way would seem more clear and well-organized? This confuses me quite much. Would anybody give some opinion? Thanks.
in my opinion relevant solution should come right after reason in order not to lose connection between paragraphes in the essay. for me, if the one place his/her solution after reasons, by providing a paragraph for each reason, the essay will give impression of coherent whole.
Very impressive! ... reluctance to take risks always makes people shut the door on changes instinctively. ---- your way was not wrong, but this might be clearer.
as they are unaware of that the change is the prerequisite of for a company's future success.-----Very very impressive ideas here...again, this was not wrong; I just thought this might be better.
A few of others avoid of changes simply because they of the fear of failure.
or
A few of others avoid of changes simply because they fear of failure.
People don't "fear of failure." They can have a fear of failure, though, if fear is being used as a noun.
Great job, Wei
Thank you all for your replies and help.
Thank you, Kevin. Practice is the best way for improvement, and the best way to learn using some certain words:)
