Unanswered [7] / Urgent [0]
 

Home / Writing Feedback /     

Natural energy sources are limited, and cannot be replenished - alternative sources are important


answers: 5
Jun 3, 2012, 11:56pm   #1
I am practicing to write IELTS essay. Please help me to correct my below essay. Thank you very much for your helps.

Government should make more effort to promote alternative sources of energy. To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

Answer:

It has been known for some time that the move towards alternative sources of energy is urgently required to stop effects of global warming, polluting environment and exhausting our natural resources. In my opinion, government should have more practical actions to promote the use of other types of energy such as solar, nuclear and wind.

To begin with, there is an alarming issue that governments, at present, are too reliant on gas, oil, coal. The burning of these carbon-based fuels is causing high-scale greenhouse gas emission which, in fact, is the main reason of global warming effects. In addition, accidents in efforts of transporting these sources may lead to serious pollution to environment. For instance, Oil spill has caused thousands of death in marine fauna, upsetting the marine food change. While sun or wind is clean and everlasting source of energy and it does not pollute the environment. Nuclear power is also clean, although it is not totally unproblematic, it would provide a large amount of energy and considerably improve the environment.

It is worth pointing out that natural energy sources are limited, and cannot be replenished. We cannot exploit them forever. Although they are sold at affordable price at presents, there is consistent climb. It is widely known that extensive economy crises happening in the world now, more or less, is stemming from fluctuation in price of oil. How would Eastern European countries be if Russia stopped supplying natural gas? How would the world economy be if the price of oil keep increasing? Therefore, escaping from dependency on fossil source of energy is not only important, but vital mission for every government.

In conclusion, I believe governments should make every effort to promote alternative sources of energy. And investing more on infrastructure, such as fields of wind turbines or solar panels to exploit energy from wind and sun or building nuclear power plant, is one of the possible solutions.
In conclusion, I believe governments should make every effort to promote alternative sources of energy. And investing more on infrastructure, such as fields of wind turbines or solar panels to exploit energy from wind and sun or building nuclear power plant, is one of the possible solutions.

Do not start your sentences with FANBOYS <For-And-Nor-But-Or-Yet-So>. It sounds informal in academic writing!
Jun 4, 2012, 08:49am   #4
there is an alarming issue that nowadays governments, at present, are too reliant on gas, oil, coalfossil fuels.

The burning of these carbon-based fuels is causing leads to the emission of high-scale greenhouse gases emission such as carbon dioxide (stating an example can make the support stronger) which, in fact, is the main reason of global warming effects.

accidents in efforts of transporting these sources may lead to a serious environmental pollution to environment

Oil spill pollution in sea water has caused thousands of ...

While sun or wind isare clean and everlasting sources of energy and it does they do not not pollute the environment

Each paragraph should have a conclusion. Add an statement as a conclusion at the end of second paragraph in the body.

Although they are sold at affordable price at presents, there price is consistently climbing

The body should include at least three paragraphs.

Regards
Ahmad



Home / Writing Feedback /

Thread closed ✓