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'Music lifts up our souls and releases them'; traditional vs international music


answers: 6
Topic: There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more improtant than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays? (an around 250 words essay)

Music is pivotal in our lives because it lifts up our souls and releases them. William Shakespeare said that "take a music bath once or twice a week for a few seasons, and you will find it is to the soul what the water-bath is to the body." As a result of that feature, tons of so-called music therapy CDs pop up in music industry. What is more, as music helps us to express ourselves in ways that we can't with normal talking, it is just like an outburst of our souls. Thus, life without music, to me, is just like movies without background music. Everything seems pointless and dull.

Turning to which kind of music is more important -- traditional music or international music. I would stand for the former one for two reasons. Firstly, traditional music or folk music plays a crucial role in passing down cultural heritages or for the new generations to recognize to which they belong. At this point, we should always preserve our own culture and history regardless of the prevalence of cultural assimilation and globalization. Secondly, keeping ones uniqueness of music would help the world to take the first step to understand ones country. For instance, every nation has its national anthem by which people around the world would see the citizens' characters, beliefs, and desire.

Since music is so much a part of our lives whether we are aware of it or not; since traditional music is so important to us whether we are aware of it or not, we should definitely embrace it, treasure it and preserve it with our best efforts.

Jul 28, 2011, 12:12am   #
William Shakespeare said that "take a music bath once or twice a week for a few seasons, and you will find it is to the soul what the water-bath is to the body."

into...


William Shakespeare, a well known english poet, once said "Take a music bath once or twice a week for a few seasons, and you will find it is to the soul what the water-bath is to the body." This concludes, many so-called music therapy CDs pop up in music industry. What is more, as music helps us to express ourselves in ways that we can't with normal talking, it is just like an outburst of our souls. Thus, life without music, to me, is just like movies without background music. Everything seems pointless and dull.
MoeMoe1,

Thank you for your advice about my essay. May I ask a question that is it ok to put "conclude" as a verb in the beginning of a sentence with a comma behind? Or sould I write "This concludes that many so-called music therapy CDs pop up in music industry"?

I will appreciate for your answer. ^^

Aleaf
Jul 28, 2011, 08:22am   #
Music is pivotal in our lives because it lifts up our souls and releases them. William Shakespeare said that "take a music bath once or twice a week for a few seasons, and you will find it is to the soul what the water-bath is to the body."----Good quatation!


Since music is so much a part of our lives whether we are aware of it or not; since traditional music is so important to us whether we are aware of it or not, we should definitely embrace it, treasure it and preserve it with our best efforts.------ The original sentence may mislead readers. Isn't international music important? Shouldn't we embrace it, treasure it, preserve?

anyway, it is a vivid article . Good job.
aleafsun:
Thus, life without music, to me, is just like movies without background music. Everything seems pointless and dull.

I like this part! Very clever....

:-)

However, I think sometimes this movie can be its own background music.

This is a great essay! I want to mention that it is a flowing, digressing essay. It is not an essay with good structure.

In school, it is usually best to write an essay with good structure. However, classical essays are often more like yours.

IF you want to write an essay with good structure, give a sentence at the end of the first paragraph that expresses the main idea of the essay.
EF_Kevin,

You really made my day, and I appreciate that every viewpoint you have made about my essay. Among all I have written within one week, a total of 8 articles, this one is my favorite. I will try my best to take both structure and flowing into consideration at the same time. I hope one day, I will write excellent essays at will.

Thank you again for your contributions!!

Aleaf



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