toefl: multiple short breaks are good for children to do well in their school life

Which one of the following you think is a better choice for education of children: one month break after every three months of school or three months break after continuous nine months?

School plays important role in our lives. Education which we receive from the school determines the level of our success. In the process of educating children some school gives one month break after every three months of school while others provides three months break after continuous nine months. In my view, I think one complete month break after every three months of school is better for several reasons.

One of the most important reasons is that children can learn in more efficiently and effectively by the above system of the school. During short breaks children can do various activities like short trips with their family, go for a picnic or play different kind of sports. When children return from their short vacation they would feel relaxed and actively participate in school activities . They feel rejuvenated and can concentrate more at their study. For example, I and my elder sister studied in same school. During our school days when we were a child we used to have one long vacation . We felt exhausted and tired within few months and didn't concentrate in our class. Everytime we wished for a vacation. So, the performance of our school in final exam was very poor in comparison to the students from school who had a system of many short vacation. This experience taught me that the numerous short breaks provides stronger learning environment for students.

The second reason is that children will feel bored when they get long break. Children love to play games or have fun for short time only . They have no patience to do any things for longer time. For instance, when I was in a California I had a neighbor who had two daughters who used to come to my place frequently. During their three months vacation initially they looked very happy as their vacation just started. As one month passed they had nothing to do new as they were already done with the things which they wanted to do. Their parents were busy with their work and they were left alone in home. They used to come to my place but they didn't look happy though I tried my best to involve them into different activities. After long vacation they joined the school and first few months they performed well in school but later they didn't show interest in th eir study as they had to wait long to get another vacation. As you can clearly see, how the long vacation cause negative impact in the mind of growing children.

In the sum, the multiple short breaks are good for children to do well in their school life. Not only it provides better learning atmosphere but they also feel energetic to do well in their study. All the school must try to provide many short vacation to the students.

This is a good example of the reason why it is difficult for English language learners to know when to use "the".

In the first sentence there is no need to add the word "the", but in the second sentence we need the word "the": The education which we receive..

Yet, there are many sentences in which the word "education" is preceded by the word "the". For example:
Education should be the most important concern for people holding leadership positions in any society.--- In this sentence, we refer to education in general. We refer to ALL education in the society.

The education which we receive... -- In this sentence, we refer to one education of one person. So, we need the word 'the'..

Another examples is here:
The second reason is that children will feel bored when they get long break.
You need 'a' before the word 'long'. ... when they get a long break.

You can also do it this way:
The second reason is that children will feel bored when they get long breaks. ----- This way is even better. There is no need to use the word 'a' if you pluralize the noun 'breaks'.

The part of speech called 'articles (the, a, an) is strange. It is hard to explain! But you get a sense of it if you read a lot. When you are reading, read aloud sometimes to learn the good habits for verb conjugation, the use of 'the', and other stuff.

: )

Well, I think you should have chosen only one of these two ideas to begin your essay. The opening sentence, we typically call it a hook that grabs reader's attention to your writing , should be a catchy meaningful sentence with relevance to your topic. So, you should have had one of the two for your hook and then quickly move into describe the background of the topic with the second sentence. Since this is a very time sensitive task, you need to fine tune your approach to manage time effectively :)