With the advent of television in the XX century, people started to change; we became better persons

How do movies or television influence people's behavior? Use reasons and specific examples to support your answer.

With the advent of television in the 20th centurey, people started to change in different ways. These types of media boradcasts, whether it's television or cinema movies, changed the way how we think, how we act and how we learn. As far as I'm concerned, T.V and it's content affected human's thinking and acting in today's society in a very poisitive way for several reasons.

First, I'm inclined to believe that television influenced people positively in the sense of gaining knowledge. Many of today's T.V programs help us to learn about new things in this world. The new information we gather and gain from these programs vary. Information about science, health, technology to even sociology. The programs that offer these topics vary too. For instance, we learn about our planet and how to make it better from documentaries, we also learn about health issues and how to help others from health T.V shows. We also learn how to be tolerant towards other people from international conferences broadcastings as well. Therefore, when we learn new things and when we are more aware about what surround us, we become better individuals in our society.

Second, a reasonable number of programs in the television offer various services for the society to help them overcome some problems in their lives. For instance, there are hotline channels whom the purpose is to help people with social problems to feel better. Other programs offer hotlines for the people to ask specialized doctors live. This helps people in many ways.

Third, with the advent of the television, the world became a place where if something happens in the far east, the far west would know about it in no time. This helped us as humans to learn about the problems of others, which led many times to the development of brotherhood and careness between different cultures. For example, when wars happen in other countries, people hear about them in the T.V, as a result of that, many people start raising charities to help the affected people from wars.

In conclusion, we became better persons from different aspects after the advent of T.V due to many positive influences from it. Whether it's educational or humanitarian, we are now able to know about each other faster than we did before.

I'm really interested to know how much would this essay get in a scale from 0 to 5 if it was written in the toefl test.

minor mistakes are apparent nd at the same time, are a lot(3 or 4). Tho, i liked ur essay, a good attempt. Keep it up! I'll hit the like

Good introduction :) I feel the last line should have been kept in present tense.
Many of today's T.V programs help us to learn about new things in this world.


... gaining is not incorrect. But "acquiring" sounds better. :)
Other than a few small errors, I think you've done a good job. You asked me how I would rate your essay in your other thread. I am not good at that task and also that depends on the person who would mark your essay too :D , If it is me I would give you 4/5 :)

Thanks for your feedback everybody.


Thanks for your mark. The point of asking you for evaluation is very important for me because when you give me what you think is my score, i can understand where my situation is right now. If nobody gives me his opinion regarding the score of my essay, then I won't be able to know if overall i'm going in the right direction or if i'm going in the wrong direction regarding the structure, ideas and organization :)