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'all men are equal before the law' - fixed punishments for each type of crime?


answers: 9
Jan 27, 2011, 01:53pm   #1
Could somebody help me!!! Thank you in advance.

TOPIC: Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, think that the circumstance of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should be taken into account when making decision on the punishment.
Discuss both sides and give your own opinions?
250 words


Generally it is claimed that punishments should be specific for every single crime. Instead, other people think that during the decision of the punishment the benches should take into account when someone committed a crime. I believe that both of these views are correct.

Firstly, we have to remember that all men are equal before the law and someone, whoever he is, have to judge for his felony.
The sentences are different depending on the crimes. For example, a man who burgled an house goes to jail for three years. Obviously, the judgment will be different for a man who killed someone and his imprisonment will be longer than the first. Because the law have to guarantee our safety and that this man do not commit this crime again.

On the other hand, people argue that benches should consider the motivation when a crime is committed.
For, example, imagining a women who is attacked. She get aggressor with blunt instrument during the scuffle. The assailant die on site.
The benches should take into account the circumstances of this crime. The woman is not a criminal and her intention in that moment was to defend herself.

In conclusion, I believe that both of these views should be considered by benches during the verdict. The law is equal for everyone and the judgment should correspond to the crime with exceptions for particular circumstances.

231 words

Jan 27, 2011, 10:03pm   #3
Your writing has really good content. However, you do have a few grammatical errors and ambiguous phrases. Some ideas are below. The errors are colour-coded, with the error in the same colour font as the explanation and possible replacement.

Generally it is claimed that punishments should be specific for every single crime. Instead, other people think that during the decision of the punishment the benches should take into account when someone committed a crime. I believe that both of these views are correct.
  • The position of "Instead" implies that it is the "other people" who are instead. "However, some" works better.
  • The end of the sentence is a touch ambiguous. It could be replaced with simply, "the context of the crime must be taken into account."

Firstly, we have to remember that all men are equal before the law and someone, whoever he is, have to judge for his felony.
The sentences are different depending on the crimes. For example, a man who burgled an house goes to jail for three years. Obviously, the judgment will be different for a man who killed someone and his imprisonment will be longer than the first. Because the law have to guarantee our safety and that this man do not commit this crime again.
  • This part of the sentence should be replaced with, "and that someone, whoever he is, has to judge every felony." This is to correct grammar and reduce ambiguity.
  • "An" should be "a", to say, "a house".
  • "Than the first" implies the meaning, "than the first imprisonment of the man who killed someone". It should be replaced with, "than that of the first man".
  • This part of the sentence should be replaced with, "It is the law's obligation to guarantee our safety; thus the law must make sure that this man does".

On the other hand, people argue that benches should consider the motivation when a crime is committed.
For, example, imagining a women who is attacked. She get aggressor with blunt instrument during the scuffle. The assailant die on site.
The benches should take into account the circumstances of this crime. The woman is not a criminal and her intention in that moment was to defend herself.
  • There should be no comma after "For". "Imagining" should be simply, "imagine". "Women" is plural, so in this case you should use, "woman". "Who is attacked" is better as "who is being attacked".
  • This part of the sentence is better as, "She hits the aggressor with a blunt".
  • "Die", should be, "dies", to match with the singular "assailant".

Jan 28, 2011, 03:08am   #4
Oh William, thank you so so much!!!!
Your explanation help me so much! I'm going to take IELTS shortly (17 Febbraio). So I try everyday to write a similutation of the exam.

Could I ask you where are you from?
Feb 9, 2011, 05:39pm   #10
words:
Not much, mostly stuff like this.

I'm glad you are doing stuff like this, William, because I saw some valuable reviews you have given people. Thanks for the time you have spent here helping people. EssayForum Contributor Page.



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