This is my writing for homework about introductions and conclusions. Please check them for me.
1.Recent research has shown that media like the Internet and TV have a greater influence over people's lives than politicians.
Intro: According to a recently conducted research, mass media , for examples, TV and the Internet, are believed to put a more remarkable impact on the society than governments. In my opinion, due to its speed and popularity, TV and the Internet gain a wider affect. However, many statesmen could have enornous influences with their speeches.
Conclusion: To sum up, obviously, media have advantages on influential spread. Therefore, authorities could take benefits of public means of communication to strech their impact.
3. Students should pay the full cost of their university, rather than have free higher education provided by he state.
Intro: Commonly, tuition fee at universities are supported by governments. However, it is claimed that students should take responsiblity to pay off their study cost. It is undeniable that undergraduates take a great deal of benefits from authorities' financial help. Nevertheless, it is the accountability of students for a part of their university cost.
Conclusions: In conclusion, it is the responsibility of students to pay their tuition fee partly. However, Government could have scholarships for poor students with outstanding achievements.
By the way, is it acceptable to use 'such as' in an ielts writing? Will I be penalized if write: 'center ' instead of 'centre'; 'favor' instead of 'favour'; ...?
I agree with Alex. Such as is okay... and the examiners should know UK English if they are qualified!
According to a recently conducted research study, mass media such as television and the Internet are believed to have a more remarkable impact on society than the government. In my opinion, due to its speed and popularity that television and the Internet gain a wider affect. However, many statesmen could have enornous influences with their speeches as well. The main idea of this essay is ____________________ (add a thesis statement here).
Conclusion: To sum up, obviously, the media has advantages in influencing the public.
Therefore, authorities could take benefits of public means of communication to stretch their impact. For example, government officials could harness the power of the Internet by blogging.
Nevertheless, it is the responsibility of students to pay part of their university cost.
Conclusions: In conclusion, it is the responsibility of students to pay part of their tuition fee. However, the government could have...
:-) Awesome!! Great job, here... you seem to be very thoughtful when you practice writing.
