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IELTS Task 1. MARRIAGES AND DIVORCE IN THE USA & ADULT AMERICANS' MARITAL STATUS


Misnariah Idrus 19 / 35 4  
Jun 19, 2014   #1
The first bar graph provides information regarding the rates of marriage and divorce in USA from 1970 to 2000, while the second chart compares between the percentage of adult American based on their marital status in 1970 and that of in 2000.

Generally, the number of marriage tended to decrease over the three decades while divorce rate experienced fluctuation. Furthermore, married adults dominated the other three status of adult Americans and each gap of the composition was very narrow.

For a more detailed look at the graph reveals that the number of marriages in USA was 2.5 million in 1970, then remained stable until 1980. However, it started to decline to approximately 2.25 million in 1990, and continued to decrease until just 2 million in the following ten years. On the other hand, the rate of divorce was 1 million in the beginning pointed year. Ten years after that, this number increased to just below 1.5, more than a half of marriages number. Started from 1990, it decreased onward and halved exactly the marriages number in 2000, reached the same number in the former year (1970).

Both the percentage of married and widow adults were higher in the first pointed year. The difference between married adult in 1970 and that of in 2000 was 11% and between widowed adult in the same pointed year was just around 1 percent. In contrast, unmarried old people and divorced old inhabitants were increased in 2000. Both of them experienced 5% increase (never married category proportion grew from 15% to 20% and divorced group inclined from 2% to 7%).
tiaDS 73 / 235 52  
Jun 19, 2014   #2
Hallo Misnariah Idrus, You should attach the picture.

remained stable

remained reasonably stable / without any drop / leveled off

However, it started to declined to approximately 2.25 million in 1990

reached the same number in the former year

had gradual rebound to the same figure in the first period.
fikri 5 / 317 71  
Jun 19, 2014   #4
The first bar graph provides information regarding the rates of marriage and divorce in USA from 1970 to 2000, while the second chart compares between the percentage of adult American based on their marital status in 1970 and that of in 2000.

you don't need to put comma here, you just need to use comma when you put 'while' in the beginning of your sentence, not in the middle like this

Generally, the number of marriage tended to decrease over the three decades while divorce rate experienced fluctuation.

this is the right example, you didn't put comma because you put comma in the middle of the sentence
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
Jul 15, 2014   #5
Ok... I think you need to improve a little bit more on the approach for this task. This is a task which aims at assessing your report writing skills. Therefore your need to adopt a more reporting writing style. Here's the approach I am suggesting;

Introduction - Introduce the graphs very briefly
Overview- Discuss the main trends/ observations very very briefly to give an overall idea about the graphical presentation. Here you should not include any details like statistics and figures.

Detail Paragraphs - Now you can pick up individual trends and discuss them with more detail :)
eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1,208 476  
Jul 26, 2014   #6
Both the percentage

problem with plural form

the number of marriage

problem with plural form

divorce rate experienced fluctuation.

write fluctuation with plural form or put an article

this number

or these numbers?

Started from 1990, it decreased onward

this may be edited for length and clarity

this report is good. However, one-two flaws interrupt the flow


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