Unanswered [2] / Featured [3] / Urgent [0]
 

Home / Writing Feedback /     

'to manage financial difficulties' - Students to take a part-time job while studying?


answers: 3
Hello everyone. This is my essay and I'm very pleased if you check for any mistakes in my essay. I fully appreciate any help of yours.

Topic: Students should take a part-time job while studying at university. To what extent do you agree?

Most of students now are likely to apply for a part-time job while study at university. As an undergraduate, they always want to reduce the cost of living and gain more real-life experience in order to improve their abilities to resolve problem in the future. From my point of view, holding a part-time job is probably the best efficient problem-solving.

First of all, getting a part-time job can help students manage financial difficulties. As the matter of fact, the cost of life is always on the increase and students are still financially dependent on their parents. Consequently, they usually lack of money to spend for their living as well as their studying. In my opinion, if students take a part-time job, they can earn much extra money so they can greatly reduce the burdens on their parents. It is obvious that being in a part-time job helps students to continue their university life.

Second, applying for part-time jobs assist students in achieving experience which is not included in university. It is clear that students now are lacking of practical experience. Most of knowledge that they learn from university is theoretical and it probably becomes old or no longer to be used. In contrast, the life always changes and requires people many necessary abilities to overcome difficulties. I think that doing part-time jobs offer them real challenge to face and it may help students learn empirical knowledge that is missing at university courses so they have enough skills to succeed in the future.

Some people argue that students' study may be adversely affected by doing part-time job during university life. If students spend their time so much on applying for a part-time job, they maybe go into trouble that they do not have enough time to study. As a consequence, the result of their study may be worse or they probably do not have enough knowledge to earn a good qualification. I think this can be resolved easily by the way students balance studying and doing part-time job. In fact, the competitive job market requires students not just to possess academic qualifications, but also to own social skills. They cannot learn enough social skills from their university life but from real world. In fact, real life offers them many opportunities to improve their communication skills. For example, my brother also does a part-time job while he is studying at university. He can manage his work well and finish it in time. He also has many relationships and most of them think that he is very active. As a result, his position has improved. In my opinion, he can understand himself better and treat people with respect because of the wide relationship he have.

In conclusion, having a part-time job while studying at university may be the best efficient way to manage financial difficulties and learn much knowledge from real-life experience. However, earning a good qualification is still the most important goal. To deal with this, students need to know how to manage their time in order to make both two sides better.

Oct 17, 2011, 10:15am   #
Most of students now are likely to ( The majority of students nowadays tend to)apply for a part-time job while studying at university. As an undergraduate, they always want to reduce ( afford ) the cost of living and gain more real-life experience in order to improve their abilities to resolve problem in the future (, boosting problem solving skills). From my point of view, holding a part-time job is probably the best efficient problem-solving. ( a valuable experience for undergraduates)

First of all, getting a part-time job can help students manage financial difficulties. As the matter of fact, the cost of life is always on the increase ( Living expenses, in fact, are always going up) and students are still financially dependent on their parents. Consequently, they usually lack of money to spend for their living as well as their studying ( <-- I think this is a bit unconvincing). In my opinion, if students take a part-time jobs, they can earn much extra money so they can greatly reduce the burdens on their parents. It is obvious that being in a part-time job helps students to continue their university life.

Just my opinions ^^
There's a lot of grammatical errors in your essay.

You might also want to elaborate more on your points

Some people argue that students' study may be adversely affected by doing part-time job during university life. If students spend their time so much on applying for a part-time job,


I don't recall students spending long hours to apply for a part-time job, it is usually the long hours that they work. Your arguments are also very confusing to me.

They cannot learn enough social skills from their university life

They often have group projects that require them to work together in groups for a long period of time. You need to elaborate on "social skills" for working in society.
wraithseeker:
I don't recall students spending long hours to apply for a part-time job, it is usually the long hours that they work. Your arguments are also very confusing to me.

Ok, thank you :) This is my mistake. I'll fix it later, in my essay.

wraithseeker:
They cannot learn enough social skills from their university life
They often have group projects that require them to work together in groups for a long period of time. You need to elaborate on "social skills" for working in society.


Social skills they gain from university isn't enough. They may be called 'soft skills'. I'm a student, and I am also taught many skills to communicate, present and talk. But these skills cannot make me feel sefl-confident when I really make a public statement. I think that I need to practice more in real life rather than only in university.

Thank you for comment!



Home / Writing Feedback /

Thread closed ✓