Unanswered [29] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2


Making handmade stuffs is my hobby - every girl should be clever with her hands


vinvin 2 / 2 1  
Jun 9, 2015   #1
I like making handmade stuffs. I started it since once I had saw my mother do it. Now I find there are many advantages of doing it myself. I think, nowadays, every girl should be clever with hands. And I therefore always try to get it. Handmade is a perfect way. After each stuff I had done I felt skilful and very happy. In addition handmade stuffs are always significant gifts because they're made by all love and attempt. I usually make them to give my friends on Chirstmas or their birthday. It is alse cheap. You just need few money to buy materials and all you have to do is spend time for it. The last thing but important is that stuffs are super cute. Everyone likes them, I think.

I love that job. In the future I will teach it for my daughter, both my experience and my love.
EF_Carol - / 145 39  
Jun 23, 2015   #2
A very nice paragraph about your work or is it a hobby? Just a couple of suggestions.

I think you should make separate paragraphs, for why you like to make hand made things, and why you like to make gifts.

Handmade is a perfect way

You can make this your first body paragraph. You extolled the virtues of self made objects quite well! Good sentence variety and structure.

always significant gifts...

Then you talk about this inyour third paragraph. How you make gifts because its cheap and they are good for Christmas.

Your conclusion is fine. You want your daughter to follow in this way!

A good job of making a point succinctly! Just add some formal structure and expand on the topic sentences, a little.

ef. _carol


Home / Writing Feedback / Making handmade stuffs is my hobby - every girl should be clever with her hands
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳