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"Make all you can, save all you can, give all you can" it's better to save money


answers: 3
Mar 2, 2010, 01:23pm   #1
Is it better to enjoy your money when you earn it or is it better to save your money for some time in the future? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.
"Make all you can, save all you can, give all you can." John Wesley.
Money is more important in life. Without money we cannot live in this world. For all sorts of things we need money. For basic needs, we should have money other wise we will starve and die. When we earn money we should spend as much we need. Otherwise we should save as much we can.
Firstly, money has become very important factor in everyone life. If we don't earn money means we are no where, nobody respect us and we fail to make our own existence. If we earn money then we are capable of staying as we want. That means we become self dependent. This ability of self dependence gives us ability to survive any where in the world. We don't need support of any one but we can be support of someone.
Secondly, money gives us power, to do so many things. We can spend it or save. It gives us enjoyment when we spend and gives pain when we don't have it. But we should always save money. We never know when we will need money. When the critical circumstances come on us? For example, when I was small my grand mother was ill. She had to be hospitalized she had a fall in a bathroom and had fractured her left leg. She was asked to under go operation of hip. As there was dislocation of hip joint. As my father saved money he was able to give money for her operation in one movement.
To sum up, we should always save money as it is hard to earn and easy to spend.
please check and give me feedback. Thank you.

Mar 2, 2010, 04:40pm   #2
I suggest that you open up your essay with something more assertive that states your position in this topic. Rather than beating around the bush stating what can happen when money isn't in our hands. I believe you should take out the quote or at least write it within the paragraph rather than it being the opening sentence.

Your opening sentence is one of the important things you can write in your essay. A lot of readers wants to know that you have taken a position and does not want to read what is not being said.

for ex.

I believe that it is better to save money for the future because ....


This sentence alone helps you tell readers your position in this essay.

I hope this helps.
Mar 2, 2010, 08:30pm   #3
one suggestion:Money is important in life. or extremely important
As you do not compare money with other thing at the beginning, how could you say money is more important than other thing?
Otherwise is one word. Also, this is a run on sentence:
For basic needs, we should have money; otherwise we will starve and die.
I fixed it with a semi-colon.

Look at the changes to this sentence:
Firstly, money has become a very important factor in everyone's life.
That is how to use an apostrophe: everyone's

If we don't earn money, this means we are nowhere. Nobody respect us and we fail to succeed with our own existence.


That means we become self-sufficient and independent.

This ability of self-sufficiency gives us ability to survive any where in the world. We don't need support of anyone but we can be support of someone.

As my father saved money he was able to give money for her operation in one movement. ---- a very selfless movement! He is a hero.


To sum up, we should always save money, as it is hard to earn and easy to spend.


:-)



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