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How you can make my favorite sandwich.(one eight sentence paragraph)


answers: 2
Write one eight sentence paragraph describing how to make your favorite sandwich in chronological order.

Here it is (Grammar help please, thank you)

My favorite sandwich is a spicy roast beef delight, and making it is such a tasty adventure. Simply retrieve two slices of fresh one-hundred percent whole wheat bread, and spread spicy brown deli mustard and mayonnaise to the inside of each slice. You will then add three thick slices of roast beef to the bottom slice of bread, as well as red onions, two slices of tomato, and a slice of green leaf lettuce to the top piece of bread. Now, place the two slices of bread together completing this scrumptious sandwich. Finally, cut the sandwich in half and serve with a handful of your favorite chips as you enjoy this masterpiece.

Jun 15, 2011, 10:01pm   #2
Carson,

You make a mean sandwich, my brother! You paragraph has been chosen by the nuts at college-admission-essay-help.com for a full revision.

Here are my suggestions on your paragraph:

My favorite sandwich is spicy roast beef. It's delicious. Get two slices of fresh whole wheat bread. Spread spicy brown deli mustard on one side of each slice of bread. Add three thick slices of roast beef right on top of the mustard on one of the slices. Add red onions, two slices of tomato, and a slice of green leaf lettuce on top of the mustard on the other slice of bread. Now, place the two slices of bread together to complete this scrumptious sandwich. Finally, cut the sandwich in half, and serve it on a plate with a handful of your favorite chips.

Editor's comment: Yum.
Ha ha, Eric, you make EssayForum a better place with your participation.. thanks!

I have to say... this essay was some high quality writing even before the rewrite. The most important correction might be at the end...
Finally, cut the sandwich in half and serve with a handful of your favorite chips as you enjoy this masterpiece.---you don't enjoy it AS you serve it. Also, it'll be good to put a comma after "half" in that sentence.
I like Eric's correction, but if you choose not to use his suggested last sentence you can change AS to BEFORE.



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