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Lying is always wrong, no matter whether it is a big lie or a white lie


hizaza 1 / 2  
Aug 6, 2012   #1
Please help me correct this essay!

Since the early age, we have taught that lying is wrong and hurts people including ourselves. Moreover, we also have educated that it is better to accept the consequences of my actions than to lie. However, the more we grow up, the more we know about using of lying because telling the truth cannot always solve the problem. From my point of view, some lying is acceptable, some is not. It depends upon what purposes that make people tell lies.

The first point to note is that although telling lie is easy to get things in the short period of time, it will create a bad impression on the next generation as well as it does not give any benefit on long way. For example, if you tell some lies to the children such as smoking doesn't effect on everyone around, what will they learn in their future? It is dangerous for us to aware of wrong way because of adult. Another point I would like to mention is that if we always cheat others many times, one day our lie will befall upon us and will lose prestige in our relationships. The story telling about a shepherdrearing his sheep is typical example. He cheats villagers many times that there was wolf on the hill. When they ran to save him but found no wolf, they became angry with him. And then when the wolf really came, no one botheredhim. Finally, the wolf attacked his sheep and also killed him. It was due to his own sin that he got the kill.

On the other hand, in some situations, telling the truth leads to more bad than good. So with this lying is used will make others in the relationship feel better about themselves. Women these days are very self-conscious, and do not want to hear the truth that they are not as attractive as they used to be. When we say things like this, the relationship most likely will not last that long. Besides, we need to lie because it can help others more comfortable and motivate to continue to do a job better. For instance, teachers in the classes often praise the students even if they have not offered correct answers. Instead of criticizing them, the teachers use the acclaim to encourage the students to find out the right ones. I think this kind of lies in the school often regards as one of the positive educational methods and helps students have a good result in studying.

In conclusion, everything always has two sides, so we will choose a best solution in each of different situations in order to deal with the problem appropriately. And some cases, people are easily to accept the others telling lies when it have kind purposes and reflect to the good results.
ah_zafari [Contributor] 40 / 672 148  
Aug 6, 2012   #2
Some suggestions with regard to the introduction:

we have been taught that lying

we also have been educated

The voice of the sentences are passive, because you did not mention that who taught or educate us to lie.

to accept the consequences of myour actions than to lie

---> I think the word "responsible" is a better choice compared to "accept". For example:"It would be better to be responsible for our deeds"

the moreas we grow up (u can also write "as time passes") , the more we knowlearn more about using of lying because telling the truth cannot always solve the problem

It depends upon what purposes that make people totell lieslie
OP hizaza 1 / 2  
Aug 7, 2012   #3
thank you for your comment!
sophienguyen92v 3 / 5  
Aug 7, 2012   #4
I have read your essays and I wonder what type of essay it is. A discussion type or an argument type or a mixture of both?

If it is an argument type, i do not think your essay looks like one. To state it more clearly, first, in the introduction paragraph you insist that some lying is acceptable, some is not -> you disagree with the statement.

However, in the body paragraph, you say both about the advantages and drawbacks of telling lies, which makes me confuse you agree or disagree with the statement.

That is my opinion. Hope it will help you get better

PS: Please read my essay too :)
OP hizaza 1 / 2  
Aug 8, 2012   #5
Hi sophienguyen92v
This is a 'for and against' essay. Therefore, I look equally at both sides of the argument
tracked89 1 / 11  
Aug 8, 2012   #6
Here are a few other observations:

-For paragraph 2, you instantly focused on the influence of lies on kids, and I think such a big topic should start out broader and then narrow down.

-You explore both sides but I was a little confused. Yes, you need to address the counterargument, but you also need to prove why it is wrong. Concede a point from the other side, but then downplay it. Don't let them have the last word.

-Try not to end with "In conclusion," because we know it's the conclusion paragraph

Overall, I think you did a good job with the essay. I'm assuming that the prompt asked you to write about always truths vs occasional lies, because otherwise this subject is cliche.
naijaprincess - / 5  
Aug 9, 2012   #7
I agree. If this is a for and against essay, you still need to present a side and have your own stance. You need to not only approach the problem from your own views, but anticipate the opposing side's arguments and prove why their particular view is wrong. If you are able to so that, your essay will be much stronger. But overall, it was good! ;)
cherry_09 3 / 6  
Aug 9, 2012   #8
your essay is really good, but there some grammar mistakes. Try to expand you essay to mak it more precise and give lots of details.


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