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Love experience - Narrative essay


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Good morning,my name is Farhad I would like that you read my essay and say your comennts.
Love experience.

Love; how much is hiding in these four letters, people all over the world love each other finding their couples. Love is a great power which makes our life so important. I think that without love people can't live in this world. Some people have already met their love, but somebody hasn't found his happiness yet. Three week ago I met "somebody" who I think will be my "couple". Unfortunally I was wrong!!!
I met her when I had composition class-she was in my group, when I first saw her she didn't impressed me, she seemed me a simply girl, like others, who were in my group of composition class. But soon she attracted me : I liked her soft voice and her accent when she spoke in Russia language, her character, her behavior, her appearance, how she thought, how she smiled .I didn't want to say her about my feelings because I don't know how she will reacted if I shall tell her about it ...
I always try caught her attention and try to understand – did I liked to her or not .Last two lessons were so funny ,because I wrote essay about Indian film and everybody didn't expected from me that I watch this kind of film, moreover this film was in love theme and everybody interested in this topic and wanted that I read it to all auditorium, but I didn't do it ,they induce me ,and I say no, but when she asked me I conceded to her and agreed with her to read in spite of that I know that everybody will have a lot of "fun" during I shall read ...if honestly I do it just to raise the spirits of her. Also yesterday I ask her to be my editor and she agreed, and while she wrote comments I looked in her eyes-there were a lot of happiness and kindness, in this moment I said to myself that she will be my girlfriend.
In Saturday I invited her for a walk with me but she rejected and says that she has a lot of work at home and can't meet with me, in Sunday I invite her in the second time and in this time she say :"NO,I have a lot of work. I was anger, I feel like an idiot, who do and trying, but get nothing. So in this moment I decided to ask her: «Has she a boyfriend?" because with this question I want gave her a suggestion that I like her. I thought that she hasn't a boyfriend, but everything was in another way – she already had a boyfriend, I was absolutely disappointed, my sense of spirit decline, it was like a knife in my heart. And after this it was nothing to lose and I said (directly) that I liked her and after that I can't see her reaction, she watches in me with a simply and not smiled or symbolizing something face. So when I see her every day in university she just say me:» Hello", and that all.
And right now I am thinking should I struggle or fight for her or may be we should stay friends? I think that I should struggle because without struggle you can't achieve something in this life. Life is a challenge fight for it. And for anyone to succeed in life, he must be ready to show the stuff he is made of. I think that if you really love somebody, you should "fight" or achieve heart of this person in spite of any condition. You must never shy to tell that you love somebody, because we are all people and every normal person understand another normal person. Nobody can't prohibit to people feel in love or love somebody even in spite of that if she already has a boyfriend. I shall feel in love to her and shall try to do that she will be my girlfriend, but if she choose another I shall say:" I love you and shall love in spite of you love another person and if you think being with another person-it is your choice, I just wish that you shall be happy". So in my ending I would to say that if you love somebody you and she or he has a boyfriend or girlfriend don't give up, you should to try, because without trying and wish to do something people can't achieve theirs goal in this life
Good afternoon.

Since the prompt was not included in this posting, I have given suggestions for grammar and mechanics only. I have edited the first section and followed up with some pointers to get you started on the rest:

"Love; how much is hiding in these four letters, people all over the world love each other finding their couples. Love is a great power which makes our life so important. I think that without love people can't Avoid contractions in formal academic writing. live in this world. Some people have already met their love, but somebody hasn't found his happiness yet. Three weeks ago I met "somebody" who I thought would be my "couple". Unfortunately I was wrong!!!
I met her when I had composition class-she was in my group, and when I first saw her she didn't impressed me. She seemed to me a simple girl, like others, who were in my group of composition class. But soon she attracted me; I liked her soft voice and her accent when she spoke in the Russian language, her character, her behavior, her appearance, how she thought, how she smiled. I didn't want to say to her my feelings because I didn't know how she would react if I told her about them.



Make sure that you stay in one tense throughout the whole piece. You switch intermittently throughout the piece from past to present tense, and this is very confusing for your readers. Choose one tense and then stay there throughout the whole piece.

Make sure that you include helping verbs in your sentences such as "am" and "be." These make your sentences structurally correct and more coherent.

I am not sure what ">>" and "<<" mean, but if you are trying to interject thoughts into your sentences, try parenthesis (_).

When you include dialogue make sure that you place double quotation marks (") at the beginning and also the end of it. This will let your reader know when the speaking starts and ends. If you are including the dialogue inside of another sentence, place a comma after the last word before your first quotation mark. Also, make sure you include your punctuation inside the last quotation mark, not outside of it.

Avoid starting sentences with "and," "but," and "so."

Avoid using the pronoun "you." Try using "me," "I," or "one" instead.

Make sure that your subjects and verbs agree. For instance, if you are speaking of a singular subject (He, she, etc.) make sure your verbs are singular as well (spoke, said, coughed).

Best of luck!

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com



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