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'Love is the answer to world's questions' - Essay on why love is important in life?


answers: 7
Oct 16, 2008, 07:41pm   #
I have a writing exam in 3 days and i just need some feedbacks.
Can i have some help !?

Topic: Why love is important in life?


Love is the a beautiful feeling that express honesty, affection and at the
same time friendship. Around the world people are concerned about solutions for many of social problems. The feeling love could be the key for many of that problems. Although, some people do not believe that it is possilble. Problems that include world hungry and violence are some example of social matters that love could solve.

The most important reason why love could hlep the hungry problem around the world is the fact that love ties people together in a way to help each other. First of all, feellings such as, caring about others and helping each other is also included in love. Besides, someone moved by that magic feelling are more likely to do little actions that today's are being more and more rare. For example, to join a non-governamental institute that help people with hungry or even feeding someone who need food is a simple actitude that this feelling insentive people to do. Secondly, the spirit of sharing is not very comum in todays world. In fact, people tend to be more selfish and caring less about others. However, love flourish that felling and make people more likely to share what they have. For instance, sharing the half a lanche with someone who do not have or even giving a piece of a fruit are actitudes that people moved by love often do. Therefore, love incentive people do help solving social problems, as hungry, which is just by us and we dont realize.

Another imporant social matter that love could help to solve is the violence. It is undeniable that the fisrt thing to associate with love is peace. First, that fantastic feeling attrach people around with a peaceful sentiment. For example, starting a fight or thinking of taking someone life are thoughts that do not exist when one's are contagious by love. Currently, the world are moved by ambition, revenge and meanness. Usually when you read or watch some news the fisrt headlight that appears is about war, murder or people being killed and there are anywhere to be safe. As an example, a 20 years old student has been killed in Alberta, Canada by a lost bullet two months ago. Actions like that is avoided when love is surrounding people life's.


In conclusion, Love is answer for most of the world question. It is a necessary feeling in life because it is wonderful and magic. Also, it hold people together in way to help and care about each others!

Good morning.

Here are my suggestions:

"Love is the a beautiful feeling that expresses honesty, affection and at the same time friendship. Around the world people are concerned about solutions for many of social problems. The feeling love could be the key for many of that problems. Although, some people do not believe that it is possible. By beginning this sentence with "although" you lead readers to assume there will be a result at the end of this statement, but there is none. Reword this statement or provide a result. Problems that include world hunger and violence are some example of social matters that love could solve.

The most important reason why love could help the hungry problem around the world is the fact that love ties people together in a way to help each other. First of all, feelings such as caring about others and helping each other is also included in love. What does this have to do with hunger? Besides, someone moved by that magic feeling is more likely to do little actions that today's are being more and more rare. This is nonsensical. For example, to join a non-governmental institute that helps people with hungry or even feeding someone who needs food is a simple attitude that this feeling incentive people to do. This sentence is also nonsensical. Secondly, the spirit of sharing is not very common in today's world. In fact, people tend to be more selfish and caring less about others. However, love flourish that felling and make people more likely to share what they have. Love flourishes selfishness and caring less about others? This doesn't make sense. For instance, sharing the half a lunch with someone who does not have or even giving a piece of a fruit are attitudes that people moved by love often do. Therefore, love incentive Do you mean "motivates?" people help solve social problems, as hungry, which is just by us and we don't realize. This sentence is nonsensical.

Another important social matter that love could help to solve is the violence. It is undeniable that the first thing to associate with love is peace. First, that fantastic feeling attracts people around with a peaceful sentiment. For example, starting a fight or thinking of taking someone's life are thoughts that do not exist when one's are contagious by love. This doesn't make sense. Currently, the world is moved by ambition, revenge, and meanness. Usually when you read or watch some news the fisrt headlight Do you mean "headline?" that appears is about war, murder , or people being killed and there are anywhere to be safe. This doesn't make sense. As an example, a 20 year old student has been killed in Alberta, Canada by a lost bullet two months ago. Actions like that could be avoided when love is surrounding people lives.


In conclusion, Love This shouldn't be capitalized. is the answer for most of the world's questions. It is a necessary feeling in life because it is wonderful and magic. Also, it holds people together in way to help and care about each other!"

I suggest running this piece through a spell checking program as there were many spelling and grammatical mistakes that could easily be caught in a program such as Word or the Mozilla browser (you can get that free at www.mozilla.com).
Also, there are many sections here that just don't make sense. Go back through, take your time, and clarify these pieces. The above mentioned programs may be able to help you there as well.

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com
Oct 17, 2008, 02:39pm   #
Thank very much!

These feedbacks just help me a lot!
I ll try to write another essay and i ll post it here.
Can you just take a look again ?!
I appriciate that!
Vipao,
You most certainly can post as many essays here as you want. Please be aware though that our terms of service specify that I will be able to comment only on each essay once.
I hope this clears things up for you; sorry about the confusion.

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com
Oct 18, 2008, 07:10pm   #
Thanks for you attention and preoccupation.
I have been learning for 8 month now and there is just 2 month that I start writing essays.
I'm from Brazil and it is very difficult for me to express my own ideas in English, any ways, Im trying my best.
I appreciate your help and soon i ll be posting another essay!

Thank you again.
sincerely,

Gustavo



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