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TOEFL: Living with families for a longer time


Godiva 3 / 4  
May 5, 2013   #1
There is no denying that parents are our teachers providing guidance when we are lost, giving supports when we are stuck in troubles and realistically to say, offering financial assistance to us. Since we are not mentally ready to living on our own without parents' help, we would definitely better live with our parents. In this case, we would have enough time to prepare ourselves, have sufficient financial support to finishing education and we could also avoid making big mistakes when making decisions. From these perspectives, it is undoubtedly that living with parents creates unconceivable benefits for our lives, however, we failed to realize the numerous disadvantages brought by being dependent on parents. From my point of view, the demerits outweigh the merits.

Although parents can make our lives easier and allow us well prepared for the future life in certain aspects, they make us too lazy to think by ourselves and be anxious when when they are absent. You experience it, and then you learn from it, meaning that if you count on your parents' advice and guidance, you will inevitably lose opportunities to learn from mistakes and improve yourself. On the contrary, when you making decisions on you own, you are cultivating a kind of significant ability called critical thinking which beneficial to your study, to you work and literally to your entire life. Also, since you have experience in making decisions, you will not feel anxious and lazy when you need to do that.

Moreover, living with parents and depending on them are more likely to adversely affect relationships with our parents. Firstly, even though our parents' suggestions are to some extent helpful and for the sake of our benefits, they do out of date, say too conservative. Take my parents as an example. Whenever talking about my future marital mate, they both strongly oppose me to marry a distant person because they seem to think that only people they know well such as their friends' or colleges' son is reliable. Therefore, a discrepancy between us as let to and an unpleasant conservation is caused. In addition, out of care or many other reasons they are always interfering my personal stuff. I know it is because of their love that they want to prepare everything for me, ask reasons when I back home late than seven o'clock and even interfere who I can make friends with but it is really annoying which makes it easier for us to initiate quarrels.

In conclusion, living with parents does relive our burden physically and mentally, it generally and unavoidably lets us become over-dependent, less responsive to difficulties and failures and also less qualified for the life.
janajackson 4 / 9  
May 5, 2013   #2
I think you did a very good job, I really love the way you write as well !
hahong 6 / 11 5  
May 5, 2013   #3
"when you making decisions on you own"

---> when you make decisions on your own

which beneficial to your study, to you work

----> which is benifical to your study and your work

only people they know well such as their friends' or colleges' son is reliable

"is"---> "are"
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
May 6, 2013   #4
Hi,
First, I want to request you to include your prompt in your post. Then we can understand what it asks for and it would help you earn more relevant comments. Here I cannot figure out what your prompt is :( I guess it is about living with parents for a longer time.... is it?

There is no denying that parents are our teachers providing guidance when we are lost, giving supportssupport when we are stuck in troubles and realistically to say, offering financial assistance to us.

No one can deny that parents play the most important role in our lives by guiding us, extending their support both financially and morally.
Flora1991 2 / 4  
May 6, 2013   #5
"Moreover , living with parents and depending on them are more likely to adversely affect relationships with our parents. "
moreover&more,you can change another method to express it and avoid using repeated words.
sharmajali 5 / 14 1  
May 8, 2013   #6
1.Well structure essay, with a introduction, body and conclusion.
2. But some where i found you repetitive, which you should be little careful about. Grammatical mistakes are been pin pointed by Dumi, so am no talking about it.

3. I have a suggestion for you, before writing essay spend some time to make 'points' supporting your ideas, by doing so it will be easy for you to explain it in paragraph, thus repetition are avoided, i myself use this strategy while writing.


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