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Living up to the accustomed standard -Cbest writing practice essay


reddlegg99 1 / -  
Aug 28, 2015   #1
Oscar Wilde once wrote, "We live in an age when unnecessary things are our only necessities." In an essay to be read by an audience of educated adults, state whether you agree or disagree with Wilde's observation.

When I was a boy, my family and I went on a ten hour road trip to the Grand Canyon. Dad did most of the driving and my mom read the map and provided directions. In the back, of our station wagon, were my three brothers, two sister and I. Mom and dad argued for most of the trip about the directions. We must have gotten turned around or lost at least ten times. As we children became bored, we poked, pinched or found new ways to bother each other. It seemed every other minute someone had to go to the bathroom or found it amusing ask dad, "are we there yet, dad how much longer?" My dad would get mad and turn beet red; at one point I believe I saw smoke coming off his head. That trip was a nightmare and I believe the stress took at least ten years from my parents lives.

Throughout man's history, civilizations have risen and fallen depending on if they were able to provide their people with the basic necessities of food, clothing, shelter and protection. Oscar Wilde once wrote, "We live in an age when unnecessary things are our only necessities." I disagree with Wilde's statement. As a modern society, with some exceptions, most people have their historical needs met. Things that were once considered comfort items have now become our necessities. In our present times, we need smart phones, our electronics and wifi; without these gadgets we simply could not survive.

Twenty years ago, many would scoff at the idea of every member of a family needing a personal phone. A personal phones help keep us safe and coordinates our daily lives. Smart Phones apps can be programed to organize our tasks and send reminders of upcoming events. My wife and I have four children. Our kids are in sports, band, clubs and a host of extracurricular activities. We are constantly picking someone up or dropping someone off. No longer must we lose precious time by showing up early and waiting. When the kids are ready or if someone is running late, a quick call or text does the trick. If there is an emergency our kids can call for help anytime and anywhere. Personal phones are a essential part of our daily lives.

Wifi is also a modern need. When writing a work or school assignment, most people no longer use pencils and papers. In fact most school districts are computer driven. My local high school district, for example specifically uses Google Chrome for students assignments. Assignments are researched, writtened and edited all on a computer. Formal research are rarely done with hard copy references; most sources are found via the internet. Students must also turn in their homework electronically. Another example of the necessity of the internet is the Common Core standardized testing. These test are performed strictly online. AThis means for a student to succeed, they absolutely must have wifi network at their disposal.

Earlier I told the story of my families nightmare trip to the Grand Canyon. This summer I retraced that trip with my own family. The directions were simple to follow because our truck has a route navigation system. Gone are the days of arguing about what road to take, a calm electronic voice simply tells us where to go and when to turn. Now kids will be kids, so there was still some poking and pinching but not to the extent of when I was a boy. When the kids became bored, they simply put a movie into the DVD player or played games on their tablets. When someone yelled, "dad, how much longer?' I'd simply say, "Google it." The trip was great and stress free.

I believe Oscar Wilde's assessment of unnecessary thing being our only necessity is wrong. Since our modern innovations provide us with our historical needs, things that were once considered luxuries are now our necessities. Smart phone, wifi and electronics once considered toys or luxuries are now necessary tools. Without these items, we could not live to the standard we've become accustomed.
justivy03 - / 2,366 607  
Aug 28, 2015   #2
- When I Typo in this part) was a boy,..
- We must have gotten turned around...
- In fact most school districts are computer drivenperational .
- Assignments are researched, writtenedwritten and edited all on a computer.
- Formal research are rarely done with hard copy references;, most sources...
- AThisWhat this means for a student to succeed,...
-...that were once considered luxuriesa luxury are now our necessities.
- Smart phone, wifi and electronics once considered toys or luxuriesluxury are...

I hope the few remarks I made help.
The only thing that I noticed is mostly typo and that is exactly where your EF comes in, we proof read and redefine as well as enhance your essay to the best we can.

I know that this may also sound weird but reading from time to time expands your vocabulary and keeps you updated with the latest happenings may it be on writing, events or just about anything.
lcturn87 - / 435 236  
Aug 28, 2015   #3
I would like to help you with some of your essay.

I can focus on sentence variety, meaning, and word choice.

1st paragraph: Since your audience is adults and you have to read your essay in front of them, I would suggest using father and mother. Ex: "My father did most of the driving and my mother read the map and provided directions. Delete the comma after the word "back".

I think you could also rearrange your sentence order. This sentence needs to come before the sentence that discusses how you and your siblings became bored: "In the back, of our station wagon, were my three brothers, two sister and I."

2nd paragraph: I can't identify the connection with your personal example and Oscar Wilde's statement. I think you needed to describe that you weren't concerned with unnecessary things on your journey with your family.

There is a variety of sentence structures in this paragraph, good word choice, and the meaning is clear.


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