Hi Faisal_Aceh, I would like to give several comments and suggestions to your writing.
my comments is probably not complete. However, I suggest you to look at my comment in frt247 writing
Language is one of communication tool which has all of countries around the world
can you rewrite this sentence?
it should be :
Language is one of the communication tools which all countries throughout the world have.
what's more, you should make your first paragraph become much clearer as such a paragraph contains your thesis statement. I am of opinion, you should give a simple explanation for your argument. In addition, you should also give a balance view on the topic question.
you can look at the example of introduction paragraph for this topic in frt247 writing.
the widest possible set of benefits an opportunity
it should be :
possible sets of benefits for an opportunity
negative effect for students
it should be :
negative affect on students
students have targetto learn many lessons
it should be : targets / a target / the target
appropriate preposition = on
To sum up, it seems to me that the government and multiple stakeholders should use curriculums including new language to primary schools, and students will be easier to learn second language. Parents also should give support for their children to improve new knowledge.
suggestion :
...should give to support for...
I utterly believe that your conclusion is not clear, as you are fail to paraphrase your thesis statement in your first paragraph. this paragraph only consists of suggestion for the topic statement.
KEEP SPIRIT, KEEP STUDY.