IELTS; Can you justify high earnings of sports professionals?

Succesfull sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

According to media news about the budget of professional players, most of the players are wealthy people. Although there are strong believers that say they deserve this kind of wealth, others think they do not deserve that much money.

Beginning with the thoughts of people who think it is ridiculous that the players get that much money. Society is the people who stay and live together, but not all of us live with the same conditions. While there are kids dying in Africa because of starving, people are getting thousands dollars in here just because they score. That's why it seems unfair to some people.

On the other hand, there are too many fan of these players who buy their match tickets, team kits and being crazy about them. They talk and read everything that related with these players. All of them think that these players are their heroes so, they deserve whatever gain.

In my opinion, as an educated person, I have been earning almost 750 pound per month. I studied hard to get this job, my relatives made their best to support my education life. I have been working as an English teacher since 2011 and all I have is debt after 3 years. Therefore, I want to remind a quote from Animal Farm: "Everybody is equal but some of us more equal." I cannot judge especially the people who earns millions. If I were in their shoes, I would accept the same offers and prices.

To sum up, after looking from different point of views. Everyone is right about their thoughts. According to me, I don't blame any of them but system. Everyone should get what they deserve. It must be balance.

P.s: 285 words

Improve on your introduction.

As dumi suggests in this forum,
This is the structure I suggest you for the introduction for this task;
Have these three parts in your introduction;
1. Hook - An interesting statement to catch the reader's attention
2. Background - Give the context to the reader
2.1. Definition of the question
2.2. Importance of the question (why it is important to discuss this argument)
3. Thesis statement - Express your view


Although there are strong believers who assert that players do deserved to be paid well, few others think they should not be.


Can be changed

They, their, them - seems to be more - can be rephrased



There are many grammatical errors. Try to improve on your grammar