Topic : As most people spend major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is a important element of individual well being.
what factors contribute to job satisfaction?
How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers?
In today's competitive world the dream of every individual is to acquire a good job and to attain high standards in their field. To achieve their dreams they endure many difficulties and hardships that come across their life from their childhood onwards. Almost every individual will have many expectations about their career as professional job holder.
However, their expectations were daunted by the difficulties faced during their job. Most of the employees were not satisfied with the kind of work they were doing, and as a result of this their progress is hindered. Due to lack of job satisfaction many employees are not able to attain high standards in their field of work. Most people feel that job satisfaction is the main reason for their failure. There are many factors which decide the job satisfaction with respect to any kind of job.
Many people hold the opinion that employees enjoy their work if they choose their field according to their interest. However, many people force themselves to work in a field which is not related to field of study. For instance, consider software industry where people from different fields of study opt to work because of the wide range of jobs available.
No one can deny the fact that, employees feel more satisfied if their hard work is recognized by the company. Providing incentives in the form of salary hikes would really boost their zeal and enthusiasm which help them to work even more hard for the company. Nevertheless, some people feel that job satisfaction is achieved if they are able to balance their normal life with their job irrespective of their salary.
Therefore, in my opinion job satisfaction plays an important role for an employee to succeed in his job.
As I finished reading your essay, I found that you have such a strong foundation for grammar and sentence structure. Thus, I won't disucss any grammatical errors here. Let's talk about the ideas. If I understand well, there are two questions to which your essay has to answer. The first one is "factors which contribute to job satisfaction" and the second is "how realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction".
For the 1st question, I cannot find out the answer in your essay. I suppose this is the answer : today's competitive world the dream of every individual is to acquire a good job and to attain high standards in their field.? If so, you will have to make it clearer and more persuasive cause "good job" and "high standards" are not the key to jobs satisfaction. Why? Because there are many people out there have high-paid jobs still feel unhappy even feel stressed. Many of them are willing to quit their "good jobs" just to find out their true callings. The owners of Coffee Rebulic SAHAR and BOBBY HASHEMI are those good examples for "job satisfaction". Both of them quitted their high-salary jobs ( one was a lawyer and one was bank investment) to follow their dreams: Opening coffee shop stores. To sum up, you should state clearly what is the main contributor to "job satisfaction".
For the 2nd, I am quite confused because of your organization. What are you trying to say? I can quite point out that there are two difficulties people have to face when trying to find "job satisfaction". One is disatisfaction with current jobs. Two is choosing unsuitable jobs. However, again, can you make your reasons sound more clearer and more insightful? Just mentioning the reason and giving some common examples is not enough. Besides, I suggest you should provide at least 3 difficulties preventing people from having "job statisfaction"
To sum up, here is my suggest outline for your essay:
Introduction: Directly answer to the 2 questions
Body: 1st main ideas: answer this question clearly: What factors contribute to jobs satisfaction? List the factors and give examples to support them. ( for each factor leave a paragraph for it )
2nd main ideas: list the difficulties and give reason why they prevent people's job satisfaction.
Conclusion: summarize what you have discussed and give some more ideas
That's all, have a nice day :-)
In today's competitive world, the dream of every individual is to acquirefind a good job and to attain high standards in their fieldto reach its heights .
To achieve their dreamsthis dream they endure many difficulties and hardships that come across their life from their childhood onwards.
Almost every individual will have many expectations about their career as professional job holder.
this sentence does not add much value :(In today's competitive world the dream of every individual is to acquire a good job and to attain high standards in their field. To achieve their dreams they endure many difficulties and hardships that come across their life from their childhood onwards. Almost every individual will have many expectations about their career as professional job holder.
However, their expectations were daunted by the difficulties faced during their job. Most of the employees were not satisfied with the kind of work they were doing, and as a result of this their progress is hindered. Due to lack of job satisfaction many employees are not able to attain high standards in their field of work. Most people feel that job satisfaction is the main reason for their failure. There are many factors which decide the job satisfaction with respect to any kind of job.
Many people hold the opinion that employees enjoy their work if they choose their field according to their interest. However, many people force themselves to work in a field which is not related to field of study. For instance, consider software industry where people from different fields of study opt to work because of the wide range of jobs available.
No one can deny the fact that, employees feel more satisfied if their hard work is recognized by the company. Providing incentives in the form of salary hikes would really boost their zeal and enthusiasm which help them to work even more hard for the company. Nevertheless, some people feel that job satisfaction is achieved if they are able to balance their normal life with their job irrespective of their salary.
Therefore, in my opinion job satisfaction plays an important role for an employee to succeed in his job.
In my opinion :
1- Your conclusion is too short , you must sum up the whole essay in your conclusion
2- You used the word " satisfaction" in your essay 3, 4 times while you could use " fulfillment" or " contentment" instead of satisfaction
3- there is a grammatical error in your essay . In the blue sentence you have first conditional therefore you must write : If some people are able to balance their normal life with their job irrespective of their salary , they will feel that job satisfaction is achieved.
Thanks a lot for your comments, i will improve in my next essay.
Over all your essay has good structure and content. I have few suggestions for you
1. In introduction state the two sides of the argument clearly and then try to give your opinion.
2. Try to elaborate your examples for each argument.
3. your conclusion is very short try to summarize your essay and give your opinion duminda has given a good example.
all the best
