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IELTS(Introduction)- Technology Vs Communication/Using Computer/Women in army


Arun0506 27 / 120 34  
Dec 26, 2013   #1
Hi Everyone, Here is I am trying to prepare a proper introductions for IELTS task 2: Please let me know whether the below intros stick to format.

Please help me to improve this further or provide me more ideas which may help everyone here for IELTS prepartion

Topic: Technology is making communication easier in today's world, but at the expense of personal contact as many people choose to work at home in front of a computer. What dangers are there for a society which depends on computers rather than face to face contact for its main means of communication?

Nowadays, rapid technological growth provide way for increasing number of people to stay connected to this world via internet. As a result, many people, particularly software professionals, tend to work from home rather than go to workplace. Despite the fact of having numerous advantages by using computers and internet, we cannot overlook the drawbacks involved due to reckless utilization of the modern technology.

Topic: Using a computer every day can have more negative than positive effects on your children.
Do you agree or disagree?

Research shows that children become highly passionate towards computer which led them to spend very long hours every day and it has become a part of their routine. Though there are numerous benefits which children are obtaining from the computer today, there are, however such an intelligent device also has negative effects on our children which we cannot overlook.

Topic: Some people think women should be allowed to join the army, the navy and the air force just like men. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Historical events prove us; ancient women were participated in all defense activities in order to protect their community from rivals. Nowadays, increasingly band of people think that women should be encouraged to take part in defense forces t serve their nation. Whilst I totally agree with the view and I believe this to be a progressive move towards equality among both gender.

Topic: Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Journey of life is made of inevitable changes, in which people experience positive and negative trends. Some people may want to carry on their life with new challenges over a period; however, there are people who are reluctant to accept any changes in their routine activities. In my opinion, every individual should be willing to take up potential transformation in their life in order to become successful a person.
Pahan 1 / 1,906 553  
Dec 26, 2013   #2
There are some grammar mistakes;

rapid technological growth provides way

growth provides / growths provide

connected towith this world

connected with the world

As a result, many people, particularly software professionals, tend to work from home rather than go to workplace.

.... here you are going out of topic. Your topic talks about how technology affects communication between people today and not about working online from home. In the introduction you should strictly stay with the prompt as it is the place for you to introduce your topic to the reader.

Nowadays, rapid technological growth provide way for increasing number of people to stay connected to this world via internet. As a result, many people, particularly software professionals, tend to work from home rather than go to workplace. Despite the fact of having numerous advantages by using computers and internet, we cannot overlook the drawbacks involved due to reckless utilization of the modern technology.

.... It is the second sentence that is not in line.


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