Toefl Integrated task" William shakespeare"

Hi preparing for toefl ibt.
Please give feed back so that i can improve on integrated writing task.
Thanks.

"Authenticity of work done by William Shakespeare"

The author claims the authenticity of work done by William Shakespeare by referring various theories. In contrast, the lecture on the other hand, refutes the passage by mentioning the facts significant to the truth ness of his work.

First, the reading passage claims that William Shakespeare was not a wealthy aristocrat and had never been to school. Therefore, an uneducated person cannot write the plays related with understanding of politics and literature. The lecture refutes this view by suggesting that although he was poor but he has attendant school with his fellow mate at Strart ford. Furthermore, Shakespeare has worked in theatres and gain experience about aristocrat manner from his acted role. Thus his writing can be justified.

Second, The author states that no records or facts has been found in evidence of Shakespeare written work. In addition to this, some theory mentions that similarities has been found between the plays of one of the popular writer Sir Francis bacon and Shakespeare .In addition to this, some scholars believes that recorded evidence were destroyed to hide the true identity of other authors. However, the lecture opposes this point and explain the fact that written records has been lost over a period of time. Furthermore, quick comparison between the two writers work can easily discriminate the differences in their style of writing.

Thanks, Mashhadi, for this great work. I know that takes a long time! I hope your teachers will someday see this page and the help you gave!

Hi Pooj, you don't need to use both "in contrast" and "on the other hand," because they mean the same thing:

In contrast, the lecture on the other hand, refutes the...

Do not capitalize words that should not be capitalized:
Second, The the author...

Mashhadi corrected everything! I hope you'll go look at her essays and return the favor. I see that you have been very active here at EF, and I appreciate it!