Summarise information about expenses on different items in five different countries in 2002

I am preparing Ielts so I need someone who can suggest me how to improve writing skills. I have tried to find an opened thread but, since I have not found any, I opened a new one.

AIM: Summarise information on consumer spending on different items in five different countries in 2002. Write at least 150 words.

This is my attempt:

"The table represents, in percentage, the consumption of goods in Ireland, Italy, Spain, Sweden and Turkey. Goods are divided in three groups: Food - Tobacco - Drinks; Clothing - Footwear; Leisure - Education.

The percentage in food category is rather high, comparing with the other categories. Turkey and Ireland lead with 32,14% and 28,91% each, while the rest of the countries are 17% roughly.

The percentage of clothing consumption is strongly different since first country is Italy with a 9%, Turkey, Ireland and Spain have the same amount around 6.5%. Slightly less is the last country percentage with 5,40%. The last group presents differences among countries. Indeed Turkey has 4.35% whereas Spain has just a 1,98% and It is the last. Ireland has 2,21% and it comes before the Spain. In the middle with a slight difference are Sweden and Italy with 3,22% and 3,20% each.

To summarise it is clear the most part of consumption is in the first category."

Thank you for your help.

Gerardo

I am glad you started a new thread. Every time you write an essay, start a new thread.

I see 2 places where you used a comma instead of a period:


It should be 1.98% and 2.21%

Can you add a sentence to tell about what the %% stuff refers to? I wonder if Italy accounts for 9% of the clothing bought by the countries named here or if it refers to 9% of consumption in Europe, or if the 9% refers to something else. Do you know what I mean?

I think you did a great job here! That is my only question... 9% of what? Total consumption of that particular item in the countries represented in the chart?

I reckon percentage refers to the total amount of spending per country.

Thank you so much for your help Kevin. This is a great forum!

Yep, so I was thinking that it would be good for you to give a sentence that tells what each percentage is a percentage of.

Out of 100% of the spending of a particular country (i.e. Italy, for example), 9% goes to clothes.
or
Out of 100% of the spending of all countries involved, 9% is accounted for by the spending from Italy.