The conclusion that the improvement of police procedures to increase the visibility of police force will lower the crime rate and make its citizens feel safer
The conclusion that improvement in visibility of police force would lower the crime rate and make citizens fell saferThe writer has a gap in his logic where he supposes that hiring more police officers, budget more funds for over time, and direct officers more often on foot rather than from their patrol cars.
.... you have to tell what the gap is.... it is not said
First evidence used to persuade readers is seems to be logically at the first glace, but with paying more attention, it'll look illogically.
This has grammar issues and also sounds confusing. You need to re-phrase this line.
or there is a lack of reaching for help on short time when needed
or there are issues in reaching out to help at short notice