Unanswered [6] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 7


Essay: Who is more important in the family? Mother or Father?


ceberus /  
Feb 11, 2009   #1
Told to write between 350-600 words-This has been a topic of debate for a long time. Who is more important in a family, the father or the mother? Different people may have different opinions about it, but for me, it is undoubtedly the mother. But surely, everyone knows it has to be a united effort of both the parents to raise a family, but still there, the mother contributes more than the father. This bonding with the child is mostly due to the mother carrying the child in her womb for a good 9+ months, which attaches both of them emotionally.

A mother has an undetectable bond with her child, unlike many fathers. She always does her best, to make her family happy. Mothers always sacrifice a lot, for the happiness of her husband and children. She can have a job, and still take care of everything else, from cooking, looking after the children, maintaining the house. Fathers usually go to jobs, and return home for dinner, and that's usually the case in almost every family. Yes, fathers do care about their children, but cannot do many things, like the mother can to her child. When a child is emotionally hurt, or confused, it is the mother he goes to for answers, and to feel good about them. The mother also has a deep emotional attachment with her children, unlike the fathers. A child does need both the parents to grow up, at different stages of his life, but even in an unfortunate case of having a single parent; he/she would always prefer their mother over father.

We can even see this in nature, in the wild. The males leave the females after having children to mate with other females. Yes this is harsh, but it is a circle of life. Often this is the case with humans. In the worst case scenario, if there is a divorce between the mother and father, the mother most likely gets the custody of the child. Simply because, everyone knows that a mother will do everything in her power to raise her child in the best possible way she can. They often remarry to have someone as a father figure to the child, to look after her child. Whereas if a child had a single parent, and it was his father, it would be the opposite, the father would most definitely marry another woman, and they may have kids, and the first child would be neglected, as often this is the case in this harsh world. A mother would never neglect her child, except in special cases if she is mentally ill etc. But those are rare cases.

So I come to a conclusion, that mothers are most definitely the more important figure in the raising of a family. Yes, some people have a better bond with their father than their mother, but these situations are rare. But mothers and fathers should try to put their differences aside to raise their child the best they can. But even then, parents get separate. Although a child needs both his parents to have a good upbringing, the mother can do a better job if single, with her child than the father. She is next to nothing for a child, and this is why we all love our mothers, maybe a bit more than we do our fathers.Be as critical as you can:D
jasonmuraira 1 / 7  
Feb 11, 2009   #2
Overall is sounds good. It makes sense and presents your ideas well. A couple of sugestions I belive might help to illistrate your essay. Just a few examples would help articulate the points. Some developmental psyhcology findings might help confirm these patterns you decribed. However, you did fine decribing them. Also, in your conclusion it isnt necessary to state that you came to a conclusion; you can just state your conclusion. Well done and very easy to follow.
OP ceberus /  
Feb 11, 2009   #3
Thanx bro:)
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Feb 11, 2009   #4
Mothers always sacrifice a lot for the happiness of her husband and children.

She can have a job and still take care of everything else, from cooking and looking after the children, to maintaining the house.

"Fathers usually go to jobs, and return home for dinner, and that's usually the case in almost every family."
I'm not so sure if this is true, maybe you should check that 'fact' for accuracy!

Yes, fathers do care about their children, but cannot do many things that the mother can do for her child.
When a child is emotionally hurt, or confused, it is the mother he goes to for answers, and to feel good about them. The mother also has a deep emotional attachment with her children, unlike the fathers.

Again, this may be offensive, as I personally know (and had one myself) fathers whose children are just as likely to run to instead of mom for comfort and support!

A child does need both the parents to grow up, at different stages of his life, but even in an unfortunate case of having a single parent; he/she would always prefer their mother over father.again

You should definitely re-do this at least by adding phrases like, "in my opinion" or something like that. You cannot state something as fact if it in truth is not. Here's one more example;

"We can even see this in nature, in the wild. The males leave the females after having children to mate with other females."

Well, I have four finches, and one of them is the poor father, who has been sitting on the eggs all day for weeks, while the "mothers" hang out on the perch eating and gossiping all day! And how about poor male penguins?!

So fix it up, really, it won't take much to fix it. Re-post and we'll take another look.

:)
newsha31 19 / 75  
Feb 11, 2009   #5
i liked the reasons u brought up and also the example in nature, it made it more interesting.
good luck;)
dreek - / 1  
Feb 17, 2009   #6
This is good writing,, but you must have to care about some line. I appreciate you..
GHouse 2 / 8  
Feb 17, 2009   #7
Man, this was a nice essay. I really felt in tone with some of the stuff you wrote. Keep it up.


Home / Writing Feedback / Essay: Who is more important in the family? Mother or Father?
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳