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Is it important to go to college ? What do you think ? Give reasons for the same .


dpka21 1 / 2  
May 8, 2012   #1
I strongly believe that people should go to college. Entering university is a very much promising step into worldwide opportunities when done with a strong will and determination. It provides us with various opportunities in the outside world. Most important reasons for going to college is gaining knowledge which aids in a successful career by getting a better job, also helps in an individual development ie personality development and this can also lead to our contribution to our society or nation. And it is fun too.

As we all know knowledge is power. We can acquire all we want in our life or rather we can change our life and make it better by learning things we are interested in. High school can teach us only the fundamentals generalised basic things but we can study our subject of interest in more details by going to a university. Knowledge help us in widening our understanding and broadening our horizons. It also improves our problem solving tactics and completely changes the way of our thinking. First and foremost what doses a person get by graduating it might be just a degree or a diploma certificate to certain layman people but the value of these certificates are very crucial. It gives you the gurantee of getting a job, improving the social status of our family and our life.

In a university people get to meet different people from different states thereby bonding with them increases their interpersonal skills and they learn sense of communication and respect for each other. Not only that but they also learn how to manage their time well and participation in various college festivals which include arts and sports give them a very good break which they truly deserve. Participation makes them working together in groups, therefore acquiring leadership, responsibility and many other qualities which builds their personal growth. It also improves their level of confidence.

And last but not the least staying away from home while studying also makes an individual independent gives him a sense of freedom, he understand more about the outside world and how the world runs. One thing is for sure they make many new friends and foes too.

Last thing that I can say is studying in a university is like sowing a seed of knowledge which will only bring joy and happiness to their future. The fruits of this tree will be the most tasty and everlasting. I remember my father always saying you can lose all your money all your possession in this world but the only thing that no one can take away from you is your knowledge and with it you can create a new world for you at any point of time.

PS: plz check my essay n tell me my mistakes as i have my toefl exam to give in a month
ana_p 27 / 81  
May 8, 2012   #2
Hi Deepika,

I like your thoughts. It seems that there are many ideas in your mind, just you need to arrange that in a proper format. (like in a proper sentences)

Just suggestion: Main format of essay should be in a format like intro para, main para (1/2/3 paras) and conclusion para.
Your last but one para, seems that its a conclusion para but again you added one more para so, try to avoid that and arrange it in a proper format.

I am also preparing for TOEFL. So, check with others also.

Hope this helps:)

All the best,

Thanks,
Ana.
OP dpka21 1 / 2  
May 8, 2012   #3
Thank you for your advice appreciate.. Can you help me with speaking since i am not a native english speaker .. Can you give me some speaking tips or some website which can help in speaking
westway50 1 / 8  
May 8, 2012   #4
I strongly believe that people should go to college. Entering university is a very much promising step into worldwide opportunities when done with a strong will and determination . It provides us with various opportunities in the outside world. Most important reasons for going to college is gaining knowledge which aids in a successful career by getting a better job. Also it helps in an individual development ie personality development and this can also lead to our contribution to our society or nation. And it is fun too. ( ok so what i got from this paragraph is that you think education will prepare us for better careers, create personal development, and act as a source of enjoyment. As Ana mentioned in the post before, you should try to use a format to organize your ideas. I would suggest writing simpler sentences at first and then add more to them. For example, your forth sentence had almost all your points of your essay in it. each point could of been split into different sentences to make it flow better. A good piece of advice i got in school for writing is to consider each sentence as one thought or idea. This will prevent you from combining too much information in one sentence that could potentially confuse the readers)

As we all know knowledge is power. We can acquire all we want in our life or rather we can change our life and make it better by learning things we are interested in.The first sentence states education is power. then there is no transition to the next one that says education can create change. High school can teach us only the fundamentals generalised basic thingstoo many words of the same meaning. but we can study our subject of interest in more details by going to a university. Knowledge helps us in widening our understanding and broadening our horizons. It also improves our problem solving tactics and completely changes the way of our thinking. First and foremost what doses a person get by graduating it might be just a degree or a diploma certificate to certain layman people but the value of these certificates are very crucial. this last one is about 2-3 sentences in one. split them up so you have something like "what does a person gain by graduating? some people say it might be just a degree or diploma." Also one note about writing is that if you use First, you have to follow up somewhere with a second. It gives you the gurantee of getting a job, improving the social status of our family and our life. make sure you stay in the same perspective. you had the word "you" in the last sentence, even though the rest of the paragraph used "we" or "our"

In a university people get to meet different people from different states thereby bonding with them increases their interpersonal skills and they learn sense of communication and respect for each other. Not only that but they also learn how to manage their time well and participation in various college festivals which include arts and sports give them a very good break which they truly deserve. make sure your verbs stay consistant. in this sentence,you have people "manage" and then you use "participation". keep that consistant and it should be participate. Dont be confused with your next use of participation as it is a noun there. Participation makes them working together in groups, therefore acquiring leadership, responsibility and many other qualities which builds their personal growth. It also improves their level of confidence.

And last but not the least staying away from home while studying also makes an individual independent gives him a sense of freedom, he understand more about the outside world and how the world runs. One thing is for sure they make many new friends and foes too.same as before, make your sentences simpler. also you mentioned last again in your next paragraph so you can't use it in this one.

Last thing that I can say is studying in a university is like sowing a seed of knowledge which will only bring joy and happiness to their future. The fruits of this tree will be the most tasty and everlasting. I remember my father always saying you can lose all your money all your possession in this world but the only thing that no one can take away from you is your knowledge and with it you can create a new world for you at any point of time.

so over all just make your sentences simpler and try to stick to one thought per idea. try to use comma in your writing as some of your sentences can be fixed by just adding a comma and maybe another word.


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