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The importance of students' sports activities


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Nov 27, 2010, 08:40am   #1
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Universities should give the same amount of money to their students' sports activities as they give to their university libraries. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

As we all know, sports activities and university libraries are both very important for students' development. And universities should invest money to ensure students have enough sports activities and read books they need. However, universities should give more money to students' sports activities than they give to their university libraries because students will benifit more from sports than from books, sports activities need more money,

To start with, students learn more positive spirits from sports activities than from libraries. Through participation in sports activities, students learn teamwork, sportsmanship, winning and losing, the rewards of hard work, self-discipline, build self-confidence, and develop skills to handle competitive situations. These are qualities that students need to become responsible adults and productive citizens. For instance, sports participants may be more responsble to study so they will get better scores than general students. Books can offer stories about these spirits but mostly students still can not know what they really means without their own experiences. Thus, it is more important for universities to invest in students' sports activities than to invest in universities libraries.

Furthermore, sports activities need more money than libraries do. Universities need to hire coaches for each sport team. Participating in various games also needs money to supply the transportation, food, housing and costumes for teammates. As to libraries,it is certain that they need money to buy new books and hire people to take charge of the them but the cost will be smaller. Overall, sports activities need more money than libraries do.

Ultimately, universities will benefit more from investment on students' sports activities than it is from investment on university libraries. Take Ivy League. As we all know, Ivy League is a athletics union. Universities among it become famous because of their outstanding students' sports activities. In addition, generally, students participating sports are more sociable and have better scores so most of them will get better achievements than average students. It is well known that many celebrities ever in university sports teams not only become the honor of the universities but also donate money to the universities. Overall investment on students' activities benefit universities both from fame and from capital, which is much more competitive than investment on university libraries.

In summary, investment on students' sports activities are both more beneficial for students and universities themselves, and are more necessary than investment on libraries.

Nov 29, 2010, 04:45pm   #2
hello Whitney,

i read your entry and its a good enough but I have a few pointers for you.

introduction:
1. when writing anything always assume that your audience has little knowledge about the topic, therefore 'as we all know' should be revised.
2. maybe you could name some sport activities and give a brief description about them.
3. you did not answer the question, whether you agree or disagree with the topic so your readers do not know your point of view it is implied.
4. you are contradicting yourself in the second and last sentences, first you say that they should ensure students have a balance and in the same breath you say sports activities need more money.

paragraph one:
i think you should use some statistics to support you opinion in order to validate your claim.

paragraph two:
1. you are repetitive.
2. your first and second sentences end prematurely.
However, universities should give more money to students' sports activities than they give to their university libraries. Students will benifit more from sports than from books, and sports activities also cost more money.-----I changed this long sentence into 2 sentences so that it will be clearer.
Your grammar is usually excellent, but you should use a spell checker:
responsible

you should use the word "requires" instead of needs:
Furthermore, sports activities require more money than libraries do. Universities need to hire coaches for each sport team. Participating in various games also needs requires money to supply the

Grammar: investment is OR investments are BUT NOT investment are
In summary, investment on students' sports activities is both more ...

Your English is great!I totally disagree with you, though. :-) If you go to the school library, are you always able to find an available computer? I think more $$ should be invested in computers and software to help English language learners and people interested in being proactive about education.

On the other hand, if no money at all was spent on sports, kids would still play sports. Libraries require a lot of technology, but sports require very little technology.



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