Unanswered [0] / Featured [0] / Urgent [0]
 

Home / Writing Feedback /     

The impact of technology in modern life. Please critique my essay. Thx


answers: 2
Jul 29, 2008, 02:45am   #
Good morning everyone,

Please give me your feedback on this essay. Thank you.

--------------------------------- Essay Question ------------------------

Technology is very much a part of modern life. Many people see technology as force that has escaped from human control. Others feel that technology has improved the quality of life. Do you think that the contribution technology has made to modern life has been positive or negative? State your position on this issue and support it with appropriate examples.

------------------------------- Essay response -----------------------------------

The issue of technology being a part of modern life is a controversial one. Some feel that the contribution of technology has made a positive impact in modern life and that technology helps improve the quality of life. Others see that contribution of technology has negatively impacted modern life and that technology is a force that has escaped from human control. I believe that the contribution technology has made to modern life has been positive; technology helps improve productivity in manufacturing, quality of life, and education.

Technology helps improve productivity at work by allowing manufactures to produce more in less time using less manpower. Many simple tasks that workers used to do are now done by robots. For example, the robotic arm seeing on a modern garbage truck enables the trash collection process to be done by one man on otherwise a two-men job.

Next, technology helps improve the quality of life by doing many of our mundane tasks so that we can spend more time on things that matter to us. Home appliances take care some of the
daily chores such washing dishes, doing laundry, and making coffee automatically, just to name a few.
Refrigerator keeps food to stay fresh longer therefore it minimizes the number of trips to the store. Microwave enables food to be warmed up in just a matter of minutes.

Lastly, technology helps improve school. Computers are used by schools across the country to help improve student learning ability. Computer simulation is used in flight school to allow students learning to fly without risks of accidence. Schools use computers in testing environment to allow students taking self-assessment test and getting instant feedback. Many students use the internet for research or getting online help.

In conclusion, the contribution of technology benefits modern life in so many ways. At work, technology enables manufacturings to produce more in less time using less manpower. At home, technology helps doing some of daily chores so that time can be spent on more important things. In school, technology is used as tools to improve student learning ability. Therefore, I believe the contribution technology has made to modern life has been positive.

Good morning.

Here are my suggestions:

"The issue of technology being a part of modern life is a controversial one. Some feel that the contribution of technology has made a positive impact on modern life and that technology helps improve the quality of life. Others see that contribution of technology as a negatively impacted modern life and that technology is a force that has escaped from human control. I believe that the contribution technology has made to modern life has been positive; technology helps improve productivity in manufacturing, quality of life, and education.

Technology helps improve productivity at work by allowing manufactures to produce more in less time using less manpower. Many simple tasks that workers used to do are now done by robots. For example, the robotic arm seen on a modern garbage truck enables the trash collection process to be done by one man on otherwise a two-men job. (What about the economic impact of that robot taking that man's job?)

Next, technology helps improve the quality of life by doing many of our mundane tasks so that we can spend more time on things that matter to us. Home appliances take care of some of the
daily chores such washing dishes, doing laundry, and making coffee automatically. Refrigerators keep food fresh longer, therefore minimizing the number of trips to the store. Microwaves enable food to be warmed up in just a matter of minutes. (Resulting in what?)

Lastly, technology helps improve school. Computers are used by schools across the country to help improve student learning ability. Computer simulation is used in flight school to allow students learning to fly without risks of accidents. Schools use computers in testing environments to allow students taking tests to get instant feedback. Many students use the internet for research or getting online help.

In conclusion, the contribution of technology benefits modern life in so many ways. At work, technology enables manufacturings to produce more in less time using less manpower. At home, technology helps doing some of the daily chores so that time can be spent on more important things. In school, technology is used as a tool to improve student learning ability. Therefore, I believe the contribution technology has made to modern life has been positive."

Great job! You use good examples to support your position and answer the question completely. Just a couple mechanical corrections; make sure that your subjects and verbs agree, and that your sentences are complete. Nice work.

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com
Jul 29, 2008, 11:44am   #
While I was writing it, I knew that I needed to complete those paragraphs where you put the questions. I however was not sure what to put. Thank you for pointing me in the right direction. Thank you very much.



Home / Writing Feedback /

Thread closed ✓