Hello,
this is my first time to enter this site.
I will be very pleased if someone can give me some advice on my essay.
Question
You are the chairperson of the school hiking club. Recently there have been several reports of accidents that have happened to people hiking on their own in remote areas.
Write an article for your school newspaper offering advice to students on safety measures that they need to take when hiking and what they should do in case of an emergency. Give your article a title.
Hike with preparations
Thanks to the promotion of hiking by the government, many people start to experience the fun and happiness of hiking. However, there have been reports of accidents that have happened to amateurs hiking on their own in remote areas. As our summer holiday is looming, I am sure that many schoolmates will go to the countryside and explore the beauty of nature. There is much that we can do to prevent accidents and go home safe and sound.
First, you should ask friends to tag along when you go hiking. It is very ill-advised to hike alone as there will be no one able to help you if you are injured. You may need to wait for hours or days to wait for a passerby to offer help. Hiking with friends can not only increase the fun of hiking but also guarantee your safety. The injured can be looked after by friends to prevent further injuries and the emergency service can also be guided by companions to the injured.
Second, you should warm up before hiking. Many people misunderstand that hiking is just a minor sports and it is not necessary for us to warm up. However, this is entirely not true. In fact, the key to prevent injuries is warming up. Normally, at least six hours is needed for amateurs to finish a hiking route. It is plain to see that a high muscular strength is needed. By warming up, our muscles and ligaments will be stretched and prepared for a long exercise. The odds of injuries can be decreased dramatically by this straightforward precautionary tactics.
Third, enough water and food should be brought. It is crystal clear that water and sugar are part and parcel of maintenance of our life. Hiking under the bright sun, our bodies sweat to lower our core body temperature to prevent overheating. By drinking enough water, we can facilitate sweating to bring more heat lost. Apart from these, some back-up food should be brought. In case we get lost, those food can keep us alive until we are found.
By exercising the above measures, our safety can be ensured if any accident happens. But, what should we do in case we really have to deal with accidents?
First, you should tell yourself not to panic. Staying calm is very important as it can help you to think of where you can get help from. Many accidents are worsened as help is not sought immediately. Recently, a hiker is run out of weather in a hot afternoon, he is so frightened that he strays from the main hiking route and goes into a jungle in order to find a short-cut to a nearby village to seek drinking water. Unfortunately, he gets lost and is tapped in the jungle. His body is found ten days after the accident. It is obvious that how significant keeping calm is when we face accidents.
Second, you should call for help by your mobile phone. Nowadays, mobile network has spanned the countryside already and therefore, you can seek help easily by telling the emergency service your location and accident.
By carrying out the above preventative means and tactics to deal with accidents, I am sure that you can get a taste of our nature in a happy way and you will soon be obsessed with the fascinating view of our remote area.
maybe looming is a little too dreary, try nearing or a happier synonym...
third paragraph... minor sports (take off the s)...
maybe for the third step, say make sure you bring enough food and water, there are a couple spots where you say 'be brought' that it doesn't seem to flow...
Good luck!
Thanks, Kelly! Hi Jack, welcome to EF. You have written a great essay. I am going to refer people to this page when they need an example of an informative essay with great structure.
"Structure" is the organization of the essay around a powerful, clear thesis statement. The first sentence of every paragraph expresses the main idea of the paragraph. This is very good.
Here is an example of the passive voice: Third, enough water and food should be brought.
When you write, you can usually make it a nicer writing "style" by using the active voice:
Third, we should bring enough water and food.
also:
Apart from these, we should bring some back-up food.
Let's keep it "we" throughout the whole essay. Do not say I, and do not say you.
First, you we should tell yourself ourselves not to panic. Staying calm is very ...
Okay, I am impressed! Read Strunk and White, because you are a natural writer.
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