Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 4


TOEFL - Basic economic class can help the students touch the surface of this field


daliqin 4 / 12  
Apr 17, 2011   #1
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement. High school students should take a course on basic economics

In today's community, economy becomes the order of the day. Getting to know the theory in this area seems really important for our students. Then, the earlier we jump into this area, the more skillful we will be. Thus, in my point of view, although it will take some time on it, high school students should take a course on basic economics. Let me explain it in detail.

For the primary concern, it can provide students a sense of direction in academy. Basic economic class can help the students touch the surface of this field, let them to know what this subject mainly discuss. That will help the students cultivate their own interest and a sense of career orientation. Finally, students may study harder for their economic dreams.

On the other hand, economy is always correlate with politics, students can study specialized knowledge along with some Politian status, which may open their vision toward the nation and don't get limited in the textbooks. Besides, there is also an intimate connection between economy and enterprises, students can also gain knowledge more practical and vivid.

In addition, the basic economic course can also help with the students when they go to college. They may feel more readily to learn the knowledge in this field and save much time, with that they are able to study more efficiently and more deeply than other students. That's as well would provide the students with more confidence and let them become more compatible.

Considering all those factors above, I suggest the basic course of economic is necessary.
butterbescotch 6 / 41  
Apr 18, 2011   #2
In today's community, economy becomes the order of the day. This sentence is vague. What do you mean by order of the day? Order of the day is routine.

Getting to know the theory in this area seems really important for our students. This is the introductory paragraph. It is desirable to make it general. So write community, people other than students.

Let me explain it in detail. Remove this. It is ideal in speaking but not in writing.

Check your work, you missed some words. It looks like you don't know what you're saying. You are promoting economics but you don't provide facts on how it is essential in high school educations. I'm sorry but that's what I think.
OP daliqin 4 / 12  
Apr 18, 2011   #3
Dear butterbescotch,

Thanks very much!! You pick out the most typical problem i have along with some expression mistake.

It seems that i need to focus on the key words "high school student", i'll try to use some specific point on them. thanks alot :-)
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Apr 20, 2011   #4
This is a great thread! Do you have questions about any of the corrections? I don't think anyone noticed this one:

They may feel readily ready to assimilate the new knowledge in college courses related with economy and get familiar with various economic topics, so they are able to do their work better than before.


Home / Writing Feedback / TOEFL - Basic economic class can help the students touch the surface of this field
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳