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IELTS essay: High sales reflect Power of Advertising and not the Real Need


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Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, we can see advertisements everywhere, from television set to posters on the streets. Some people believe that these various advertisements get people to buy products that are unnecessary and only look good on television. I tend to agree with this view.

To boost their sales and win over customers, companies pour a great amount of money into advertising. Most of the time, it is not about the function or quality of the commodities themselves but really the promotion of the good feeling of possessing the product. By which I mean, huge cooperation hire celebrities as the face of their product. By casting famous singers in their television advertisement, motorcycles or clothes for example, sales increase significantly since youngsters, as the target consumers, love celebrities. Since having these products shows their status, the quality obviously is not relatively important.

However, despite the fact that advertisements can be falseful and exaggerated, it is also true that it plays and important role economically. They introduce new products, and provide various choices, not to mention they are often visually enjoyable, since they aim to grab your attention. Advertising also helps to keep prices at reasonable levels, creates a fair environment for commercial competition. Otherwise the market may be monopolistic, and the price as well as the choice will not be so selective.

The power of advertising maybe over-rated, we can not deny that the final decision is on the hands of us consumers. No matter how appealing the advertisements are, we should be able to make the decision on our own.

(258 words.)
Any feedback helps! Thank you!

Google this: how to write a concession paragraph.

I usually call it "refuting the counterargument." You probably already know what needs to be done. Just think of what someone would give as a reason if they disagreed with you. If I told you I disagreed with your argument, you could probably take a guess and know what my concern was.

So, start with a topic sentence that tells the argument of people who oppose your idea. Then, give a sentence to tell why your idea is still more appropriate and correct. This makes your argument much stronger.

It's hard to find mistakes in your writing! Here is an idea:
I tend to agree with this view.---- Add some words to this sentence to tell the MAIN REASONS you agree.

Although the power of advertising may be overrated,
we can not deny that the final decision is on the hands of us consumers.
Thanks a lot, Kevin.
I made a revision based on your advice.

I tend to agree with this view that advertisements are often falseful and exaggerated.

It is true that advertising plays and important role economically. They introduce new products, and provide various choices, not to mention they are often visually enjoyable. Advertising also helps to keep prices at reasonable levels, creates a fair environment for commercial competition. However, the increasing importance of advertising has influence our lives immensely by confusing the lines between wants and needs, which makes people materialistic and unhappy with their status quo.

Is it clearer?

BTW, I want to ask about the second sentence in my introduction.
Is it natural to say advertisements get people to buy products?
(because I think it looks like Chinglish...@@")



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