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Happiness is considered very important in life. 'Defining depends on the ages'


justinjustinlee 1 / 2  
Aug 14, 2013   #1
Happiness is considered very important in life.
Why is it difficult to define?
What factors are important in achieving happiness?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.


Happiness is something that we all desire, but not many achieve. Mostly people linked happiness with wealth and material success or emotions and charming personal relationship. However, I do understand that some people may not agree with this opinion. This essay will address to define the happiness and what are the factors that are important to achieve happiness.

First of all, happiness can be interpreted in different ways. It usually depends on the ages. For instance, children feel happiness when they get an ice-cream or chocolate; teenagers feel happiness when they have a game device on hand; adults feel happiness when they have a good relationship and wealthy life; elderly people feel happiness when they are having meal with their children. In this case, it can be said that there are different definitions of happiness in every stages of age. However, there can be an exception such as some children feel that chocolate and ice-cream are disgusting.

On the other hand, there are several factors that are important in achieving happiness. But I think the crucial part is you need to clarify that what is important to you and what is not important to you. So, you can find contentment in living a simple life. For example, I think it is important for me to have a complete family so I feel happiness because I have a lovely family.

On the whole, the best way to achieve happiness is satisfied all the things are gifted to us. Sometimes, we even forget the things that make us happier but keep reminding the things that sadden us. So we should have a positive attitude towards life to achieve happiness.
gmad06 20 / 151 55  
Aug 14, 2013   #2
Hi,

May I ask which exam are you preparing for?
gmad06 20 / 151 55  
Aug 14, 2013   #4
I must say, this is a difficult essay prompt..is it from general or academic?
well here are my feedbacks:

- You should have talked about the importance of happiness in life as your introduction, in that way
it would sound more relevant to your prompt.

This essay will address to define the happiness and what are the factors that are important to achieve happiness.

Some say they need these types of sentences as blueprint for their essay. I say, if you really need it try to rephrase the sentences and don't mention phrases like 'this essay, the following paragraphs will, etc..'

However, there can be an exception such as some children feel that chocolate and ice-cream are disgusting.

do not open another idea when you are about to close a paragraph

On the other hand, there are several factors that are important in achieving happiness.

That phrase is used for contrasting ideas. Factors to achieve happiness support your first paragraph, and another thing, you are suppose to mention more than one factor to satisfy the task.

grammar issues will be dealt with later..

hope this helps...
GREASPI 4 / 8 2  
Aug 15, 2013   #5
Nice work,
I feel, following changes could be made:
1,

For instance, children feel happiness when they get an ice-cream or chocolate; teenagers feel happiness when they have a game device on hand; adults feel happiness when they have a good relationship and wealthy life; elderly people feel happiness when they are having meal with their children.

--> Happiness can be felt or anyone can feel happy. So take care while using different parts of speech.
2,

However, there can be an exception such as some children feel that chocolate and ice-cream are disgusting.

---> "However, there can be exceptions such as, some children feel that chocolate and ice creams are disgusting". In this way, you can give an example of exception not for the children, but for all the age groups.

3,

On the whole, the best way to achieve happiness is satisfied all the things are gifted to us.

---> revise it.

All the Best for your IELTS.
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
Aug 16, 2013   #6
Happiness is something that we all desire, but not many achieve.

... Great hook....very impressive :)

Mostly people linked happiness with wealth and material success or emotions and charming personal relationship.

Most people have the tendency to link happiness with wealth or other form of worldly achievements such as relationships, prestige etc.

However, I do understand that some people may not agree with this opinion.

What is this opinion? Your previous sentence does not refer to anyone's opinion :(


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