Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 4


Should government support local film makers financially?


wei0531 1 / -  
Jun 22, 2015   #1
Question:
People prefer to watch foreign films rather than locally produced ones. Why do you think this happens? Should the government support local film makers financially?

In modern world, the movie industry is largely dominated by developed countries, where these filmmakers have often strive to exceed the viewer's expectation. However, the growth popularity of international movies is greeted with dismay, mainly from the local flicks industry. This raises a hot potato issue whether government should support local filmmaking industry. This essay will explain the root cause of the emergent fond towards foreign films and solution to this issue.

To begin with, the key success of international film producers is that they have the edge on financial budgets. Numerous of foreign movie companies has the financial robust for special effects, spectacular location, actions and stunts when making a movie. Furthermore, they are capable of offer attractive salary for renowned actress, actors as well as directors. Hollywood blockbuster like "Fast Seven" and "James Bond", are great examples of a foreign movie that demonstrate the effectiveness of using most of these attributes to attract viewers. Secondly, domestic competitors often have been criticised for poor quality and storyline. Instead of being unique and showcasing nation's culture, they often try produce a movie which has similar plotting with the foreign film.

In order for domestic film makers to compete against international counterparts, it is believed that government should provide financial assistance to domestic film makers. With the extra funds, it allows them to purchase modern technologies to create visual and sound effects such as 3D Effects. Alternatively, they can as well employ famous artists to perform in the movie. Furthermore, domestic movie makers can also hire their nation's places of interest for filming to showcase the nation unique culture and advertising the beauty of this area. Only with all these things set in place, local film makers may have a better chance of increasing the popularity of their films.

To sum up, it has clearly showed the reason of the unpopularity of local films mainly due to the shortage of funds and substandard storyline. It is hoped that government can offer financial support to local film makers, so that they can raise the standards of domestic movie to foreign movie benchmark, at least.

Please advise and correct my essay.

Thank you!
lcturn87 - / 435 236  
Jun 22, 2015   #2
I have provided you with some suggestions to make your paper better. Remember to use the word "the" in your paper. This was probably the most frequent word left out and will help you with your writing skills. Your examples were easy to understand.

1st paragraph: "In the modern world..." Change "strive" to "strived". The next sentence I would change growth to increasing and flicks to film. I won't change how you want to express this, but I will help you with word choice. Here is a suggestion:

"This raises the question: Should the government support the local filmmaking industry?"

In the last sentence, I assume you mean emergent funds needed for foreign films and the solutions to the issue. Is this correct?

2nd paragraph: Change the edge on to "have greater financial budgets than local producers". Revise this sentence:
"Numerous foreign movie companies have robust financial budgets for special effects, spectacular locations, actions, and stunts when making a movie."

I think you should replace actions with shooting scenes too.

Change offer to offering and salary to salaries. Makes actress plural by adding "-es" to the end of the word. Make blockbuster plural because you discuss two movies. Change criticised to criticized. Place "the" before nation's and "to" after try.

3rd paragraph: Place "their" before international and "the" before government. Effects should have all lowercase letters. Delete "as well" in the next sentence. I think when you discuss domestic movie makers, you should try to explain that they will contribute to the local cities economically. For example, in my local area they shot blockbuster films and employed extras for these movies. Do you mean these factors help local film makers increase the popularity of their films?

4th paragraph: I would suggest beginning with, "In summary the reason for unpopular local films is..." Place "the" before government and change part of the sentence to: ..."so that they can at least raise the standards of domestic movies to a foreign movie benchmark".
justivy03 - / 2,366 607  
Jun 23, 2015   #3
- In a modern world, the movie industry is largely dominated by developed countries, where these filmmakers have often strive to exceed the viewer's expectation.

- This raises a hot potato issue('hot potato" in itself is an issue ) whether government should support local filmmaking industry.

- This essay will explainexplains the root cause of the emergent fond towards foreign films and solution to this issue.

- Numerous of foreign movie companies has the financial robust for special effects,....

- Furthermore, they are capable of offeroffering attractive salary for renowned actress, actors as well as directors.

Wei, I'm not sure, but I guess you're new to Essay Forum, if you are, A VERY WARM WELCOME!!!
It's always amazing to have one more addition to the EF family.

Now, we head to your essay, I can honestly say, it's written well, as you can see I only have a few corrections.
The corrections I made were mainly the choice of words that you have in your sentence composition.
Remember this is a major point as it is what constitute your essay, so be careful and know the exact form of the word
that you choose to form your sentences and your essay as a whole.

- proof read every piece of writing that you do

Keep writing

Cheers!!!
lacusclyne 16 / 25 11  
Jun 23, 2015   #4
The movie industry->movie industry
where these filmmakers-> where filmmakers. you have not mentions those filmmaker. Therefore, it is not quite right to use "these" here.


Home / Writing Feedback / Should government support local film makers financially?
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳