Please give me some advise to improve my essay on GRE issue. Thanks a lot!
"Government should place few, if any, restrictions on scientific research and development"
I am partly agree with the statement above, which seemed reasonable to some extend, but after we make some carefully examination, we will find it has omitted somethings which is so important to this subject.
Of course ,our government should give freedom to our scientific research so that they can utilize their talent and wisdom as much as possible on the discovering of the unknown world. Simply put if the government place few restrictions on the research the scientist will have ability to use every resource that could support his or her research in order to conquer every difficult problems which impede the developing of the science.
However, the statement have ignore some very important aspects that we should consider carefully before we give the ultimate freedom to our scientist, otherwise, it will cause some serious aftermath.
First, we must estimate whether this kind of research could hurt our national security further more whether it will damage the human's right on our planet. The atom bomb, for instance , is an epitomization of such kind of research. Every country should forbid their scientist (unless under some unusual condition) to do the research on such topic ,otherwise, it could undermine our national security seriously. What is worse it could be utilized by those terrorists who will damage the peace of our world.
Second, we should consider the efficiency and feasibility before we ratify a project. Every research is a risk investment so before we make any determining we should estimate them first. For example, if one person apply for so much money just want to buy the superbest computer to figure out if we can find next Mersenne Number the one which is a just a kind of special prime number. Whether should our government spend so much tax-payers' money on such things or instead spend this money on the community health services? I guess you may choose the later one.
Last but not least, we also should not omitted the mores and religion before we give the freedom to our scientist. However, much of the conceptions which lie in the mores and religion are not very scientific. Nevertheless, we should respect other body's choosing and belief. And in order to build a harmonious society , we should try our best to keep the balance between different people who hold different belief and ideas. Let me provide an example which could support my view about that. The researching on the ECS is so controversial topic that showing the conflict between science religion and mores. Could we easily make a decision on such topic or we should consider it deeply and think out some best solution to this problems?
Finally, I propose that we should give as much as freedom to our scientist,however we should also consider the aftermath and other factors have impact on our life.
In sum ,I hope it has been shown that in order to maximize the efficiency of our scientists we should put few restricts on them, however before we doing such things,we should also consider so many other things such as the feasibility the money the mores and the religion.
You need more practice with singular/pluraland with verb tense.
to some extent
... some things which is so are important to this subject.
However, the statement has ignored some very important (...) freedom to our scientists , otherwise, it will cause ...
... whether it will damage the human rights ...
Whether Should our government spend ...
... as much as freedom as possible to our scientists . However we should also consider the aftermath and other ...----- this is a good sentence!!!!
Keep practicing!! Look at other essays here at EF and help people find their errors, and ask those people to look for errors in your essay. I hope you check out essayforum.com/ef-contributor-page
I have so much respect for out bilingual writers.
