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Good Boss, Bad Boss: Compare/Contrast Essay


answers: 26
Jul 11, 2009, 06:00pm   #
I have been assigned to write a compare/constrast essay for my college english class. Though English was an easy subject way back then, I now find it difficult to compose an essay or write a grammatically correct essay. After hours of writing and rewriting the essays I've written so far, my grades on composition and subject has been a 90 each time but in the 70's on punctuation and grammar. No matter how hard I try, I just don't see my own mistakes when I proofread. I chose to compare and contrast a good boss versus bad boss.

Good Boss, Bad Boss

SEE BELOW

Jul 11, 2009, 07:24pm   #
breeny:
my grades on composition and subject has been a 90 each time but in the 70's on punctuation and grammar. No matter how hard I try, I just don't see my own mistakes when I proofread.

Okay, so I will concentrate on that rather than on content.


This sentence runs on too long:
The perception of good boss or bad boss bad depends upon the outlook of the employee being supervised, but there a few traits I've observed over the past twenty five years, I think most people would agree on, that make a/the difference.

I'd rephrase it as:
The perception of a good boss or a bad boss bad depends upon the outlook of the employee being supervised. but There are, however, a few traits I've observed over the past twenty five years that I think most people would agree on, that make the difference.


The most notable and important difference between these two types of bosses is whether they trust you to do your job.

A good boss generally leaves the employees to do their work but is available as needed.

As a result, employees tend to be happier, more at ease, and more likely to be more productive.

Here, I brought the items of the list into better agreement.

In contrast, a bad boss keeps his or her door closed, and does not want or invite unsolicited communication with his employees, and can be quite rude when interrupted.

Here, I made your language inclusive and also fixed a semi-colon error. Semi-colons are used only to separate clauses that can stand as sentences in their own right or to separate items in a list that themselves contain commas.

The employees' feelings often show up in the quality of their work.

Here, I fixed an apostrophe error. As you had it, employee was singular and thus clashed with "their," which is plural.
Jul 11, 2009, 11:58pm   #
Oh my gosh. Thanks for the input. It seems so simple when others point it out but these changes would have never occured to me on my own. If you are willing and have the time, I would love for you to critique it from beginning to end. I would have asked for that to begin with but I know I'm not the only one out there who needs your professional assistance and input. Thanks so much. I have literally spent hours looking for a website like this. The tutors at school are limited in their help and spend more time trying to make sure they don't give too much information or make too many suggestions that it ends up being more confusing than of help. Thanks again!

SEE BELOW
Jul 12, 2009, 04:06am   #
A boss is defined as "a person who employs or superintends workers" (dictionary.reference.com).

breeny:
The perception of a good boss or a bad boss bad depends upon the outlook of the employee being supervised.


I don't think you mean what you have actually said here. A boss's perception (of what?) depends on the outlook of his employees? Huh? Revise.

breeny:
There are, however, a few traits I've observed over the past twenty five years that I think most people would agree make a difference.


Traits in whom? I assume in bosses, but based on the construction of the last sentence, grammatically it seems as if you are talking about employees.

"yet never stops to consider all the times the employee has went above and beyond for the sake of the company.

"I think most employees will agree that communication, flexibility, and trust" Note the comma before the "and."
Jul 12, 2009, 05:57am   #
breeny:
Oh my gosh. Thanks for the input. It seems so simple when others point it out but these changes would have never occured to me on my own.

You've mentioned before that you tend not to see errors when proofreading. I wonder if you have looked through papers that have been corrected by teachers, searching for any pattern in the kinds of mistakes you tend to make? That can be a useful exercise.

breeny:
I would love for you to critique it from beginning to end.

I only did the first bit in order to leave other forum members something to critique. If nobody jumps in soon, I'll come back to it.
Jul 12, 2009, 08:28am   #
To answer your question, I do study the mistakes and try my best to catch them. The real problem here is a severe lack of time to give proper attention to my writing AND the fact that one comma splice or verb agreement (disagreement) or tense shift counts 15 points each. It takes only two goofs to have a 70. Enough whining on my part. I will never be the subject matter experts as are the forum members on this website no matter how much time or effort I put into this class. Given enough time I could write a jim dandy paper, or at least better than what I have done. But, it's due tomorrow along with a test in APII and Phych. I have a 4.0 in everything but English. I am so thankful for your help and feedback. Your assistance means more to me than you'll ever know. I look forward to your feedback. Sabrina
Jul 12, 2009, 12:10pm   #
Why I asked is because if you know that you tend to commit comma splices, just for example, then you can do a specific read-through examining every comma. If you know that your verb tenses tend to be slippery, you can do a read through looking only at the verbs. Etc., etc. Good luck!
Jul 12, 2009, 12:35pm   #
EF_Simone:
The real problem here is a severe lack of time to give proper attention to my writing AND the fact that one comma splice or verb agreement (disagreement) or tense shift counts 15 points each.


Ouch. That is pretty rough. On the other hand, it does force you to master the use of English grammar if you want to do well, which is a useful skill set to possess.
Jul 12, 2009, 12:44pm   #
EF_Sean:
Ouch. That is pretty rough.

Yah, usually a comma splice is only 3-5 points. Even then, they can really add up. Tense shifts are arguably worse, because of being more disconcerting to the reader, and thus usually cost more than a simple comma splice.
Jul 12, 2009, 03:43pm   #
Okay, I have revised it and cut it down some. My word count needs to be around 500 but I'm not sure I can get it down any further. I'm also wondering about switching back and forth between worker and employee. Is this okay and should I vary the use of boss with supervisor and manager? I think some of the sentences could use help if you are willing to make suggestions. Also, if you were grading my paper, what would you give me? Don't worry, I'm open to criticism and won't take offense. Again, kudos and thanks for your help!

Good Boss, Bad Boss

SEE BELOW
Jul 13, 2009, 06:54am   #
breeny:
We live in a society that offers a diverse and broad range of job opportunities, so we have some control over where we work and what kind of work we do. Finding suitable employment is not that difficult if you are flexible and willing to relocate.


I'm questioning this bit, as I know several people who are unhappily unemployed at present. It's fine, as a general introductory passage, but you could make the essay even stronger by tying it into the times. Why not say that most people need to have a job to survive and that, in these hard times, people want to hang onto the jobs they have. For some, that means putting up with a bad boss.

(This is actually true. There's survey research showing that people are staying in jobs they dislike because they fear not being able to get another job.)

You could come back to that theme in the conclusion, suggesting that when the economy improves employees will again be on the move, looking not only for better pay and more benefits but also for better bosses.
Jul 13, 2009, 12:34pm   #
I have read line by line looking for errors. If anything, I may over populate with commas. I made more changes and tried to incorporate Simone's suggestion though I'm not sure it flows smoothly. This is my last opportunity to make changes and corrections before turning it in. Again, I ask for your help in finding punction errors and in suggestions in sentences reconstruction. I'll turn it in later this evening. For now, must take dog to the vet! Thank!!

Good Boss, Bad Boss

We live in a society that offers a diverse and broad range of job opportunities, though finding suitable employment can be difficult in today's economy. Most people need to work to survive, and in these hard times, people want to hang onto the jobs they have. For some, that means putting up with a bad boss. A boss is generally defined as someone who directly supervises the work activities of others. The perception of whether a boss is considered good or bad depends on the outlook of the employee being supervised. There are, however, a few important areas most people would agree makes a difference.
The most notable distinction between the two types of bosses is whether they trust you to do your job. A good boss provides good work direction, has a hands-off approach, and is available when needed. As a result, employees tend to be happier, more at ease, and more productive. On the other hand, a bad boss micromanages the work of employees, hangs over their shoulders, and often criticizes their work in front of others. Workers may feel stressed or threatened by their boss' presence, and as a result, are likely to make more mistakes and be less productive.
Open lines of communication are another consideration in determining a good, or bad, boss. A good boss has an open door policy, meets regularly with employees, and seeks employee input. Employees appreciate the opportunity to share their views and opinions, and will work harder when they feel appreciated and valued. In contrast, a bad boss has a closed door policy, does not invite unsolicited communication with employees, and can be quite rude when interrupted. Poor communication leaves employees frustrated, resentful, and unsure of their position. The employees' feelings often show up in the quality of their work.
Another noteworthy difference in a good boss and bad boss is their flexibility regarding personal emergencies. When possible, a good boss will work with an employee to provide the time needed to address a personal crisis without threat of job loss. However, a bad boss sees a personal emergency as strictly an issue the employee must deal with on their own time. The bad boss is unwilling to work with the employee to find a solution that will allow the employee to take care of the emergency and fulfill their employment obligations. Some employees are so intimidated by the bad boss, they will neglect their personal life in order to accommodate the boss.
Bosses come in all flavors and styles. Most bosses are easy to work with and will do their best to create an enjoyable working environment for everyone. Unfortunately for some, there are bosses who are controlling, rude, and uncooperative, which makes for a cold and unenthusiastic work environment. As the economy improves, employees will again be on the move, looking not only for better pay and more benefits, but also for better bosses. How a boss is viewed is a matter of personal opinion but most employees will agree that communication, flexibility, and trust are three key factors that set a good boss apart from a bad boss.
Jul 13, 2009, 10:47pm   #
"Workers may feel stressed or threatened by their boss' presence, and, as a result, they are likely to make more mistakes and be less productive."

OR

"Workers may feel stressed or threatened by their boss' presence; as a result, they are likely to make more mistakes and be less productive."
Jul 13, 2009, 11:44pm   #
Thanks to everyone for their wonderful help. I have turned my paper in and now I just wait for about ten days for her to return it with a grade on it. I'll post my grade once I receive it. Thanks again, Sabrina
Jul 22, 2009, 07:03pm   #
First, a "B" is a good grade. C = Fine or average; meets baseline expectations. B = Very good or above average; exceeds baseline expectations in at least one way. A = superlative; exceeding expectations in both form and content.

85 for content is about right. You met the guidelines for the assignment and probably were a bit above average for your class. For a grade of "superlative" in content, you'd have needed a more original or sophisticated analysis.

As to the 74 for mechanics, I can't comment without seeing the final version as you turned in, since things like proper formatting also count. What comments or corrections did the teacher write on the paper.
I think that you can produce good essays as your English is good
Your problem may be that you use too complex structures and write too long sentences. Make it simpler and shorter, you may make much less mistakes and at least easier to find errors in yours.
Jul 23, 2009, 12:31am   #
Okay, maybe the marking system is different where you are, but an 81% here would be an A-, hardly a horrible mark. Indeed, depending upon what marking system your university uses, anything over 85 is literally superfluous, as there is no difference, GPA-wise, between an 85 or 100. I think that is different for American schools, though. In any event, your mark, for a college class, is quite respectable.
Jul 23, 2009, 11:13am   #
EF_Sean:
Indeed, depending upon what marking system your university uses, anything over 85 is literally superfluous, as there is no difference, GPA-wise, between an 85 or 100. I think that is different for American schools, though

In American schools, 85 is typically a mid-range B; "A" typically starts at 90.
Jul 23, 2009, 03:28pm   #
Ah. In many Canadian schools, the scale is

A+ 90
A = 85
A-= 80
B+= 75
B = 70
B- = 67
C+ = 65

And, if the school marks out of 4.0 system, in which there is no A+, in terms of GPA, anything over 85 translates into 4.0. In a 4.3 system, this is somewhat mitigated. Either way, though, because of this, 85 ends up being essentially a perfect or near perfect mark, so that many professors are reluctant to give out anything higher, which makes an 81% very respectable, as that is essentially 81/85 (or possibly 81/90). At best (worst?) it becomes the equivalent of a 90% on a scale in which the full range of percentage grades were meaningful.
Jul 23, 2009, 07:19pm   #
Before, I find it also hard to proofread my own work and found nothing wrong about it. Later on, I have to read more informational books about writing, grammars, pronunciations and punctuations in order for me to practice and improve my work.

It would be a great help after you proofread your own work, to have it proofread with someone else or to some people you know and let them check if there is something wrong about your work.

I hope it will help you by this advise.
Jul 24, 2009, 09:42am   #
Everyone here has been great to help me out. Maybe I should say that 81 is a personal disappointment. I have maintained a 4.0 in every class since I started back to school. I take my school work very seriously and an 81 is not satisfactory to me personally.

However, I've decided that if I make it out of this class with a low B or high C, I will be delighted! This teacher is a notoriously tough teacher, though fair and consistent. My biggest mistake was to take the class online.

This is a great website! Thanks again and keep up the great work.
Jul 24, 2009, 12:47pm   #
breeny:
My biggest mistake was to take the class online.

Oh, yes. People think that online courses will be easier but, because so much of communication occurs through gestures and tone of voice, they are often harder.



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