Nowadays, the rate of growth in tourism is exponential; worldwide visit is more fashionable. This is not only due to increased wealth but also due to easier access throughout the world. However, there are some beneficial and harmful effects that we must know to decide whether we should promote or banish this type of business.
Obviously, the economy of the country to be visited becomes stronger as more visitors spend money in that area, more jobs are created for local people. Similarly new roads, hotels, resorts and parks are building up to facilitate tourists. These are the measures that have positive outlook on local area.
Moreover, many countries become famous due to certain areas seen by people coming from abroad, for example, Egyptian pyramids.
Contrary to this, a few drawbacks are also highlighted like environmental pollution, destruction of agricultural land, cultural and social degradation. Major problem is faced by the residents who have to leave their own land and migrate to other areas for housing. Moreover, they suffer financial crises as they left cultivation crops and are paid less amount of money for work as tour guides. In addition to this, there is a great problem of sanitation in these areas that leads to environmental pollution. Many people believe that customs and traditions are vanishing due to tourists.
Furthermore, money obtained by visitors is mainly paid to bigger companies so local people remained deprived.
In conclusion, tourism is beneficial as well as has bad impact on the area and the residents. However, these harmful effects can be controlled and problems can be solved if government make policies in favour native people.
Word count 273.
Please find and correct my essay and guide me for improvement.
thank you.
Naseem.
Well, first of all, hei! :3
You can talk about a lot of matters regarding this subject, but I don't recommend you mention all of them in such a short essay. Try to focus on what you consider to be the most important issues.
It is also important to keep a certain flow. Try to read what you've written out loud after finishing.
Also, you've been kinda contradicting yourself. I don't know if you intended it or not, but he way it is right now, your essay is pretty incoherent. Try when writing to imagine a Greek temple. The roof, is your introduction, the main idea of your statement. The pillars (body) are your arguments. And the base is your conclusion where you take your main idea and edit it a bit according to the progress you've made throughout the essay.
Below is the rest of the corrections. Again, I'm sorry if this might be hard to look over.
Moreover, many countries become famous due to certain areas seen by people coming from abroad(/sights and tourist features), as for example, the Egyptian pyramids.
Contrary to this, a few drawbacks are also being highlighted like environmental pollution, destruction of agricultural land, cultural and social degradation. [Yes, but not because of sighs or tourist features or proper advertising. One becomes aware of the problems of a country or a region by either researching them or having personally encountered them.]
[new para]Major problem is faced by theR esidents who have to leave their own land and migrate to other areas for housing face a major problem(which?) . Moreover, theysome of them are likely to suffer financial crises as they have left cultivation crops and are being paid less amount of money for working as tour guides. [Have you read this somewhere or is it just a biased deduction? I personally believe the number of people who leave such economically prospering areas is pretty low. And usually agrarian regions aren't in such close proximity to touristic ones ... so the "losing crops" part seems to be a stretch. Plus, why leave an area, if you plan on working as a guide there in the first place?]
[new para] In addition to this, there is a great problem of sanitation in these highly frequented areas that leads(/has lead) to environmental pollution.
[new para] Many people believe that customs and traditions are vanishing due to tourists.
Furthermore, money obtained by visitors is mainly paid to bigger companies so local people remained deprived. [Wait, what? You said yourself that tourism creates working places. Of course, working outside a structured system might result in less income, but that is because your own business would get less advertising and would be hence less known.]
In conclusion, tourism is beneficial as well as has, but it might also have a bad impact on thean area and theits residents. However, these harmful(/disadvantageous) effects can be controlled and problems can be solved if governments would make policies in favour of native people. [Poor government, haha ... tourism is the best thing ever for natives. Visitors come and pay three or four times the normal price in order to get what they want. Their profits are amazing. What do you expect the government to do further? Should they shut down all private businesses or what? That would be not only unconstitutional, but it would also greatly damage the economy by making good investments prone to becoming deficient and unprofitable. The private domain is lucky to have a greater stability than the public one even if it might pay it's employees less. And, as I've already mentioned, it is you who said tourism offers jobs, so ... myah.]
Another high quality edit from Ana...
I agree with that advice about using shorter sentences. It is easier for both the writer and the reader. Here, the sentence got too long and became incorrect:
Obviously, the economy of the country to be visited becomes stronger as more visitors spend money in that area, and more jobs are created for local people. ----I fixed it with AND.
Here is a way you can use AS WELL AS:
In conclusion, tourism is beneficial as well as harmful. It has a bad impact on the area and the residents. However, these harmful effects can be controlled and problems can be solved if governments make policies that favour native people.
:-)
