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IELTS: Global warming - 'we should keep our environment'


Eva Novita Sari 47 / 71 2  
May 3, 2014   #1
Global warming is one of the most serious issues that the world is facing today.
What are the causes of global warming and what measures can governments and individuals take to tackle the issue?
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Global warming is one of event that is caused process surrounding. Some people think that earth becomes heat is caused by humankind themselves. However, some people never aware what they are doing. They just search much money, but they do not care influence toward environment them. It can be seen that earth undergo greenhouse which is caused by many events.

On the one hand, many people in the world are cutting trees. For example, several ten years ago, environment in Banda Aceh is still calm. However, after many people in countryside cut many trees for getting much money. With the result, in around Banda Aceh becomes heat. Because, there is not oxygen again that gets out from leaves from trees to environment. Then, sun shines earth is heat energy radiated into space. This is then energy reflected off to atmosphere. Next, in Jakarta, many people are establishing build especially factory which is producing smoke or carbon oxygen that is dangerous toward environment. So, it is continuing which extra carbon dioxide from burning fossil fuels is brought to atmosphere that is causing atmosphere become thin and it is causing greenhouse. Therefore, solution for this problem, if one house grows trees less than 2 or 3 steaks, we can imagine what will happen if all of house grow trees. It can make environment becoming calm and we will have air refresh.

On the other hand, in the earth, many people are using transportation. It can cause pollution because it has carbon which is dangerous toward environment. This is then extra carbon dioxide from burning fossil fuels and it is continuing to atmosphere. Therefore, I think that we should finish this problem in our environment such as we can use transportation go green like bicycle, and we should grow trees in our surrounding.

To sum up, I think that we should keep our environment. It is for our life becoming comfortable. So, we should not go to other countries for refreshing.
fikri 5 / 317 71  
May 3, 2014   #2
give space between third and fourth paragraph

Global warming is one of events that is caused process surrounding.

They just search much money, but they do not care influence toward environment them

this sentence is confusing, could you make it clear?
upinipin 32 / 49 1  
May 4, 2014   #3
Global warming is one of event that is caused process surrounding. Some people think that earth becomes heat is caused by humankind themselves. However, some people never aware what they are doing. They just search much money, but they do not care influence toward environment them. It can be seen that earth undergo greenhouse which is caused by many events.

confusing
kamikazexoxo 2 / 4  
May 4, 2014   #4
On the one hand, many people in the world are cutting trees. For example, several ten years ago, environment in Banda Aceh is still calm. However, after many people in countryside cut many trees for getting much money.

I think you should change many people to almost all of people or something else . Dont use a lot of "many people " in your essay .
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
May 4, 2014   #5
Global warming is one of event that is caused process surrounding.

This sounds very confusing.... what do you actually mean? Your hook does not have to carry very advance vocabulary if they fail to generate a clear picture of the image. You have to bear this in mind very seriously.


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