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IELTS - give us your view about engertainment and educative museums .


answers: 2
Sep 6, 2012, 05:00am   #
Some people think that museums should be enjoyable places to entertain people, while others believe that the purpose of museums is to educate.
Discuss both views and give you own opinion.


Some museums nowadays demonstrated that museums are more likely to be entertainment along with educative, and this is determined by the modern methods of teaching,however. There are also a classical type of museums in the meantime.

On the one hand, classical museums such as historical or scientific are getting supported by families due to their educational benefits,however . It also has a major problem which is boring. Children and students are getting bored with the traditional way of narrating the old stories, and then comes the need for entertainment, we could simply involve technology and recreational activities to the procedure, we could take benefits of 3d technology to create the spectacular environment, or replacing the traditional guide for headphones given by the museum to the visitors.

in conclusion, education must be enjoyed, and that is also applied on museums.

Sep 6, 2012, 06:21am   #
Saeed7:
Some museums nowadays demonstrated

nowadays is in present. Therefore the verb should be in present tense.


Saeed7:
Some museums nowadays demonstrated that museums are more likely to be entertainment along with educative, and this is determined by the modern methods of teaching,however. There are also a classical type of museums in the meantime.

You have several grammar issues here. Try to write shorter sentences until you become very confident with grammer. Also limit one idea to one sentence. Dont have irrelevant ideas in between (see the part in bold which does not contribute to your other ideas). Also state your opinion in the introduction.
This is my suggestion for your introduction;


Some museums today are more focussed on providing entertainment to the visitors. While some people approve this trend, others believe that the main purpose of the museums, which is education, is lost when they try to entertain visitors. In my view, the museums need to educate people in an enjoyable manner.
Hi,

For this kind of essay, you must discuss both views in two paragraphs (one for entertainment and one for education).
Also, you must write at least 250 words for a task 2 essay, but yours has only 140 words.

Best



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