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( IELTS essay) Gene or environment more influential in character


answers: 5
Peoplesí character is influenced by environment rather than genetics. Do you agree or disagree?

Personal traits and heredity are two important factors, which determine the character of people. It became a hot topic of debate since long time that, which one over weighs the other, nature or nurture. In my opinion, the environment and experiences, not merely genes mold the character of an individual.

Undeniably, different factors determine and shape the sense of understanding and the behavior of a person. Heredity and physical environment are the two things for the character development of a person, like a good breed seed and a fertile soil respectively. Even if the seed is not among the good breed we can modify it by budding and other suitable scientific procedures. Same way, the child of immoral parents can be transformed into a sensible citizen by proper care. If a good bread seed is planted in a totally infertile extreme hot place, how can it grow well? On the contrary, a bad breed seed can be fruitful, if planted in a fertile land after modifications. Thus, the environment is most sensitive than genes.

Furthermore, it is scientifically proven that, though the characters are transmitted through genes, most of the traits are acquired during their life. It is evident that, the twin who is brought up in a city became open minded, temperamental and is adapted with the city life. At the same time, the other one in the countryside was introverted, hard working and disciplined. These changes are explained by the influence of the environment. Undoubtedly, value based societies, moral education, proper guidance, affection, attention and so on, plays a pivotal role in the formation of the character of a person. People are closely connected with parents, co-workers, friends, teachers and media. Criminologists affirm that, criminals are often formed as a result of bad partnering and nurturing.

To conclude, though genes are one of the important factors of deciding the character of a person, it can be modified through proper care and attention. Since, environment has more impact on peoplesí character creation, letís work hard to bring up the children with good discipline and hard work, and create a safe society.
Jan 5, 2013, 11:52am   #
HI,

Overall super essay. good work. Surely you will get good score.

still need strong in your opinion in the following sentence.
In my opinion, the environment and experiences, not merely genes mold the character of an individual.
There is confusion whether your are agreeing or disagreeing. Concentrate on introduction.

you can write like this
In my opinion, the environment and experiences mold the character of an individual rather than genes.


All the best.
Hai Dev...

Thanks for your comment and compliment...

i am agreeing with your suggestion myself read and write like this sentance so many times. So lets have a slight change..):
The world merely is sufficient to state my opinion, i think..
U also can write like this..may be better than this...):

As i told you b4 u Need more reading. If u want more suggestions drop your i.d here.
Thanks..
Tessy
Jan 5, 2013, 09:05pm   #
HI Tessy Joseph,

You used nurture twice in the essay. It is better to change it to another word.

if you have any IELTS tips and suggestions you can send to me my email id is devabe2005@gmail.com
Jan 5, 2013, 11:33pm   #
joythblessy:
Personal traits and heredity are two important factors, which determine the character of people. It became a hot topic of debate since long time that, which one over weighs the other, nature or nurture.

Great opening :) and clever introduction; It's very well presented :)
joythblessy:
Even if the seed is not among the good breed we can modify it by budding and other suitable scientific procedures.
........ great idea , very clever :D
Even if the seed is not from good breed, still we have options for upgrading its quality by using various hybrid techniques.
I enjoyed reading your essay. Your essays sound great now :)



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