Prompt was to classify 3 sets of people in the same situation.
Alot of passive voice, which i don't know how to fix
Alot of wierd sentences too
I couldn't come up with an adequate introduction and conclusion
critique thanks
Video games are meant to be play by a broad variety of people. Playing a generic game, these gamers start to show their true colors. There are three main classifications for gamers. These gamers, who should be avoided at all cost, come in flavors of aggressive, cute, and back-seat.
The dangerously aggressive gamers are one to be reckoned with. These men and women rush in and start virtual wars by any means necessary. Incendiary, destructible weapons are worshipped. Playing a game, they go berserk, reminiscent of Norse warriors. Their only mission is to elicit carnage and strike fear into those that step in the way. They express their happiness by unloading an entire ammo clip into the opponent. If they were to die, harsh, guttural sounds will be heard and controllers would be thrown against the wall. The opponent would come face-to-face with these berserkers.
Cute gamers' purpose to playing game is to look at cute things. Cute gamers are mainly female but there will be an odd male sometimes. Cute gamers' express their glee for cute things by hugging the television and engaging in baby talk towards the game. These gamers find cute features in everything including that scary monster at the end of Doom. They do not play a game to win; they play to see cute things. When they do spot something cute, which is often, it is usually accompanied by high-pitched giggles. Like the other two gamers, empty servers will be in wait for cute gamers. If they have to shoot and kill a character in the game, they burst into tears and seek forgiveness for their sins.
Back-seat gamers are the bane of any friend relationship; they share a resemblance to back-seat drivers. These people will constantly give unneeded advice and comments when critical moments arrive in a game. They know everything about A.I. script, and maps memorized in theory. Upon playing a game, they constantly tell the person playing the game, the way to play it. Their voices cannot be squelched. In practice, their advices and proclamation of gaming skills should go unheeded. As with aggressive gamers, the sounds of players leaving the servers accompanied the back-seat gamers' entrance. When a game is lost, they unleash a torrent of verbal abuse towards the person playing the game. Handing the controller for the back-seat gamer would end with no result, rejecting to play. These gamers rather watch the other play to insult since they are better than everyone in theory.
These classifications of gamers should be used as a warning sign to avoid them. The gaming world has assembled a broad variety of interesting personalities, although, the aggressive, cute, and back-seat gamers tend to stick out the most and are the most plentiful.
Greetings!
You've written on an interesting topic! Here are some editing tips for you:
Video games are meant to be played by a broad variety of people. Playing a generic game, these gamers start to show their true colors. There are three main classifications for gamers. These gamers, who should be avoided at all costs, come in flavors of aggressive, cute, and back-seat. - This paragraph is a little confusing to me because it sounds as if there are three types of gamers, all of whom should be avoided; if that's the case, wouldn't there be no one left to play with?
The dangerously aggressive gamers are the ones to be reckoned with. These men and women rush in and start virtual wars by any means necessary. Incendiary, destructible weapons are worshipped. - Avoiding the passive voice is easy; just say, "They worship incendiary, destructible weapons."
If they were to die, harsh, guttural sounds will be heard and controllers would be thrown against the wall. - You are changing verb tense and again using the passive voice. Instead, you could say "You can tell when these berserkers have been killed--they emit harsh, guttural sounds, then throw their controllers against the wall."
Cute gamers' purpose for playing the game is to look at cute things. Cute gamers are mainly female but there will be an odd male sometimes. Cute gamers express their glee for cute things by hugging the television and engaging in baby talk towards the game. Like the other two gamers, empty servers will be in wait for cute gamers. - This last sentence did not make sense to me.
Handing the controller for the back-seat gamer would end with no result, rejecting to play. - This sentence also has problems, grammatically. I think perhaps you meant to say, "Handing the controller to the back-seat gamer would only result in his rejecting the chance to play."
These gamers would rather watch other people play in order to insult them since they are, in theory, better than everyone else. - You could do that last phrase a number of ways, but I think it sounds better like that.
Good work!
Thanks,
Sarah, EssayForum.com
There are many different types of gamers but these 3 happen to be the main ones in my opinion.
Greetings!
Perhaps you should consider saying "There are many different types of gamers, but there are three dominant ones which should be avoided at all costs." That way, you're not impliedly telling your reader that they shouldn't play games with anyone. :-)
Thanks,
Sarah, EssayForum.com
oh, ok. thanks!
