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Friends, knowledge, purpose: people attend college for many different reasons


MrTom 6 / 13  
Aug 8, 2010   #1
I need some constructive advices on my essay. Thank you a lot :)

Topic:
People attend college or university for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge). Why do you think people attend college or university? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Essay:

Some people say attending college is an indispensable way to find a job. Actually, I think most of people going to college are not just for a future job.

First of all, I think everyone who attends a college will make some good friends. In fact, some people claim the best friends of their entire life are met in the college. Friends in college have more opportunities to spend time together finishing their paper in the library, doing sports, having classes, etc. Consequently, they will get a deep understanding with each other and last a long-term relationship. My dad's several close friends are all met in college.

Secondly, I think some people attend college because their curiosity for knowledge or the keen to know the truth about this world. During the studying life in college, people can learn a lot not only about those courses , but also the spirit of science , the great of humanity and the basic of this world .Colleges are the center of scholar and research , there are numerous scientists, writers, physicians, historians benefit form college's studying.

Thirdly, we are always trying to find ourselves a life-long purpose but have no idea what we really want or who we really want to be. In college , those books, lectures and courses can give us an answer. It is not just about jobs ,but people's dream. It may encourage you to become a writer after a plenty of reading or you dream of becoming a philosopher after get familiar with Aristoteles. You may find yourself interested in chemical change or principle of universe. It is never as simple as finding a job. In college, you learn what you are really into and that will enlighten your future and life .One who knows nothing about himself will never walk out of the confusion or begin to chase his own dream.
hannahan - / 7  
Aug 8, 2010   #2
Maybe you use too much "I think" in your essay.
OP MrTom 6 / 13  
Aug 8, 2010   #3
Thank your helpful advices . I will practice more to do it better.
adriennelin 11 / 30  
Aug 8, 2010   #4
notice that advice is uncountable
If you want to suggest a plural idea, you use "pieces of advice" or "some advice."
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Aug 9, 2010   #5
You should add a sentence to that first paragraph. You can say it is indispensable... then give a sentence to say it is also useful for more than just finding a job... then at the end give your sentence that says most people are interested in more than just career training.

So I think you should add a sentence right in between the 2 sentences of your intro paragraph.

:-)


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