So... I was given three articles and told to respond to one of them whatever way I desire. I picked an article discussing fear and how it relates to politics, society and emotion. My professor has given me a B+ on every essay I have wrote this semester. I have asked her what is possible in order for me to get an A and she told me to just keep improving my writing. I know there are many things I could fix with this essay, but I feel like this could really be the A paper. Thank you for taking time out of your day to proofread.
Fear-a distressing emotion aroused by danger, evil and pain, whether the threat is real or imagined; fear is the feeling or condition of being afraid. Fear is necessary, evil...but a necessary evil. An alternative news website, AlterNet published an article by Don Hazen stating that studies have shown that fear is much more present in some lives than others regardless the color of skin and level of poverty. Meanwhile, in today's society, we see fear in three ways, politically, socially and emotionally. Often times it is said that we live in fear, but personally I think fear lives inside us. We go day-to-day listening to news stories inform us on the tragedies of the world, the tweets and status updates indicating governmental hoax and lastly our minds telling us what to believe and what not to believe...or in this case, what to be afraid of and what not to be afraid of.
Political fear is an indenture most young people like to forget exists. As we become adults we become more and more aware of how incredibly flawed the United States really is. The older we get the more fear we express about our futures. All my life my family has lived paycheck-to-paycheck and no savings to fall back on. Some may say that this is mine or my parents fault and that we could be wealthy if we worked harder or longer. However, my mother has been working for a company for twenty-five long years and somehow only ten years have been documented as union. Therefor, my fifty-three year old mother will be checking your groceries for the rest of her life because she wont be able to retire. It has always been difficult for me to fully understand the racial differences when it comes to money. Being a poor white kid is almost unheard of, this article states that, "For every $1 white families have in savings, African Americans have just 5 cents and Latinos have 6 cents." Usually, I find these statistics almost appalling, because Society tells everyone in the world on a daily basis that I am wealthy and that I am living life without fear. When truthfully, I am scared to death because society has the power to tell me and everyone in the world that I am doing "okay" because I am white.
Social fear is much like political fear when it comes to the color of one's skin. Often, we show statistics that show the gaps between minority and whites, yet we are still blind to the fact that nothing has changed. Discrimination is still the number one problem in America and the number one fear factor as well. If a white male were to stand up for his beliefs about equal rights for all skin colors more than likely the minorities would not listen. Due to society, whites are shown as overindulged and successful even when some are not. Most minorities fear domination that is why there is a constant comparison between other races when in fact as the years progress from slavery to present the gap between minority races have become smaller. Social fear is created by those around us and in this article it says, "For a phenomenon to become a social problem, someone... has to define it as a problem and then convince others that it is one." Nowadays, we log on to what ever social media we desire and see the opinions of millions of people on topics they may or may not be actually educated on. It only takes one person to tell you one wrong fact about a global issue to instal fear into you and all of the people who listen to you. In high school journalism, I was taught to never base your opinion on a topic after reading one article or one side of the story. Social fear is created because we give or we are given far fetched lies and we believe them as if they are true because the government or the New York Times tells us it is. One should always research a drastic fact before they inform others, this could reduce social fear.
Emotional fear goes hand and hand with social fear. Humans have brilliant minds that have the power to create millions of theories simultaneously. These opinions we created can create other problems as they build up and corrupt our minds. When one becomes stressed or scared it is often because society has created something that they see as a personal issue that can effect their life. On a blog titled, Wellbeing Alignment they wrote, "We are holding a fixed thought in mind about a subject that we accept as reality and then react to it." In the AlterNet article they describe fear as the enemy of reason. I believe that when one is emotionally unstable they are not only fearful with society, but they are installing fear and doubt in humanity.
Our fear is caused by the thoughts within. Whether that fear has to do with politics, social media or your own sanity the solution to fear is unknown. There is no real solution for fear because politicians will always be corrupt, society will always stretch the truth, and there will never be a prescription that can heal fear.
Hello,
First off, I would not say fear is evil.
Second, I think if you improved your organization a little it will help a lot. Maybe start with an outline? Have a clear thesis (I am not sure what your main points are at the beginning) and then your supporting facts. It seems like your thesis should have something to do with race because you focus a lot on that.
When you use evidence, make sure you state exactly what article it is. Do not say "this article states that...' it is very unclear and vague.
Discrimination is still the number one problem in America and the number one fear factor as well. this is a bold statement. where is your evidence for it?
Due to society, whites are shown as overindulged and successful even when some are not. Most minorities fear domination that is why there is a constant comparison between other races when in fact as the years progress from slavery to present the gap between minority races have become smaller.these are over-generalizations. again, you need evidence to make these kinds of statements.
Your thesis is about fear, but your essay is about discrimination and race...I do really see the connection. I know how fear is related to discrimination but you do not make that point clear. I would start with an outline to make your points clearer and then expand on your points.
Thank you...
I guess it makes a little more sense when you read the actual article I was given because it focuses on why America is fearful. However, I agree I will fix the intro to focus on the discrimination. I pointed out in the beginning the three major common fears being political, social and emotional and then continued on about each topic. I realize now I may have spent a little too much time on the political and social the rather than emotional. Thank you again!
