Ielts - fast food is good or bad?

Q: fast food is now universally in most countries and becoming increasingly popular.some feel that this is a positive trend while other do not .wt is ur opinion I this.. Iam writing ielts.plz give me ur suggestions and comments.each comments are valuable for me. ANS:fast food culture is regarded as one of of the most concerns in modern society.There are some people who argue that fast foods are convenient ,tasty and affordable while others oppose this view.However,in my opinion,escalating trend in fast food consumption can have negative effect on health,family ans society. One the hand,most of the fast food restaurants offer affordable meals.With-increasing cost living,people tend to opt cheaper option whether it ne clothes.foods or other things.So,fast foods are one of the best choices for people.For example,people,in macdonalds,can be supress their starvation with meal by giving five pound or less than that.As a result,people can save money and time. However,it is proven that prolonged use of fast food will have detrimental effect on health .It is also cause for obesity,indigestion and other deadly diseases.For instance,a survey conducted by BBC reports that,major reason for increasing number of obese children in developed countries are due to the intake of junk food in their daily diet.Thus,the goverment need to provide huge amount money from national budget to healthcare care system,and this alter national economy as well.Another effect of fast food culture is loss of family tradition of eating together .Children and adults rarely eat together now,and thus get less opportunity to talk.ultimately they lose sens of community. In my opinion,eventhough fast food are tasty and convenient,it is not prepare with healthy or nutritious ingredient.Goverment and people equally responsible to fix the problem pertaining to fast food consumption by reducing number of fast food industries ,and encouraging traditional food preparation at home.

Hi friends ,an u check and correct my essay

Hey there Helpmeet !
I've skimmed through your essay and here is a piece of advice from me - If you are preparing for IELTS, you've a long way to go my friend. Firstly, you should start by widening your vocabulary and in tandem also read as many model essays as you can. :'D

I'd like to help you by pointing out a few errors herein.
1) Fast-food, is to be considered as a singular term and hence, singular verbs apply to it. Similarly, there is a multitude of errors relating to the use of singular or plural verbs.

2)Lack of use of articles
3)Mis-used punctuation

P.S Try to format the thread out in a better way, it becomes rather cumbersome for us to review :'D
Cheers,
Revin

Ravin ..thank u very much for ur advice.can u suggest some ways to improve my writing skill..because ielts is mandatory to reach my goal

is it an essay?
this is an example of ielts task 2 essay

Some people think that governments should give financial support to creative artists such as painters and musicians. Others believe that creative artists should be funded by alternative sources. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

People have different views about the funding of creative artists. While some people disagree with the idea of government support for artists, I believe that money for art projects should come from both governments and other sources.

Some art projects definitely require help from the state. In the UK, there are many works of art in public spaces, such as streets or squares in city centres. In Liverpool, for example, there are several new statues and sculptures in the docks area of the city, which has been redeveloped recently. These artworks represent culture, heritage and history. They serve to educate people about the city, and act as landmarks or talking points for visitors and tourists. Governments and local councils should pay creative artists to produce this kind of art, because without their funding our cities would be much less interesting and attractive.

On the other hand, I can understand the arguments against government funding for art. The main reason for this view is that governments have more important concerns. For example, state budgets need to be spent on education, healthcare, infrastructure and security, among other areas. These public services are vital for a country to function properly, whereas the work of creative artists, even in public places, is a luxury. Another reason for this opinion is that artists do a job like any other professional, and they should therefore earn their own money by selling their work.

In conclusion, there are good reasons why artists should rely on alternative sources of financial support, but in my opinion government help is sometimes necessary.

Goverment and people equally responsible to fix the problem pertaining to fast food consumption by reducing number of fast food industries ,and encouraging traditional food preparation at home.

I think it's hard to reduce fast food industry because this business is legal. So if the question doesn't mention to the solution, i think do not put it in your essay because it's controversial

Well, first of all you need to pay more attention to neat and tidy presentation of your essay as it is very difficult to follow. You begin your sentences with small letters and do not have paragraphs properly separated :(

Everything in it comes as in one bunch. Separate these parts leaving a blank line between them;
Introduction, body paras, conclusion.

When you deal with IELTS, the first thing the assessor sees is your layout, which shows whole of your essay. If the layout is difficult to read, which is let's say: no spaces between paragraphs, then he/she immediately knows your writing needs more work to read.

Hence, I suggest you to leave one space every time you open a new paragraph.

It is too hard for me as a reader to review your essay. Perhaps, read many sample answer of writing task 2 can help you to understand how to structure an essay in IELTS.

read sample essays as many as possible as you will learn how ielts essay should written.


Government and individuals are equally responsible for the problem pertaining to fast food consumption by reducing number of fast food industries ,and encouraging traditional food preparation at home