Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 6


TOEFL:External appearances can provide important clues to a person


lyqinyi 3 / 6  
Nov 2, 2009   #1
Many people believe that one can not judge the others by the external appearances. However, in my opinion, the external appearances can not only provide important clues about a person, it can also indicate the society to some extent.

First of all, I admitted that we can not judge a person just by the external appearance. After all, the external appearances are not the essence of people. If we want to really know someone, a better way is to obtain all the respects of information about him or her. And only after that, we can draw the conclusion about who the guy does be.

However, the external appearances can provide us some important clues to understand a person. Since people dress up as what they like, we can figure out what a person interests in to some extent. For example, a person who dresses following the fashion maybe suggest that the person has interest in new elements. On the contrary, if a person wears big old shirts or even not suitable for him or her, it may illustrate that the guy is not interested in clothes and the person is probably addicted in something that needs whole concentration. In one word, the external appearances can help us realize what a person really is, even though we can not judge the person just by the external appearances.

In addition, the appearances of the people can also provide us information about a society or country. Different countries have distinguished cultures and customs, so the external appearances can show us some clues to the country. For instance, women in Arab wear the veiling as a custom of their society. Also, in some areas of China, through the raiment people wears we can easily determine which minority nationality they belong to. What's more, thinking about that, human beings wore leaves at the beginning of the civilization, and now developing into kinds of clothes with variety of materials, what has changed behind this phenomenon? The society is improving, and people's attitude toward beauty has changed a lot, as well as the technology is making more and more amazing materials for clothes. As a result, through observing the appearances of the society's people, we can learn a lot about the whole society.

In conclusion, some of the person's characters can be revealed by his or her external appearances, even though I admitted that judging a person only by the external factors is not reasonable. What's more, if we take it carefully, it is not difficult to find out that the external appearances of the people can also provide us the information about the country or the society.
Hellgreeting 2 / 3  
Nov 2, 2009   #2
You must be a Chinese, am I right?
As to the organization and structure, I think this essay is a good work. And you provide enough specific information to support your viewpoint. However, I notice that there are some minor grammatical mistakes such as "First of all, I admitted that we can not judge a person just by the external appearance." And this may cannot be considered as typing errors. By paying more attention to prevent such grammatical mistakes, you can gain a good mark.

WISH YOU LUCKY.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Nov 4, 2009   #3
Many people believe that one should not judge the others by their external appearances.

First of all, I admit that we can not judge...

On the contrary, if a person wears big, old shirts or even pants that are not suitable for him or her, it may illustrate that the person is preoccupied with other things. The person could be addicted to something, or the person might be an enlightened master. In other words, the external appearances can help us to speculate about what a person really is, but we cannot draw any firm conclusions. though we can not judge the person just by the external appearances.
Poojasugandhi 18 / 35  
Nov 4, 2009   #4
Good job.
make use of proper words such as should instead of can in the first sentence.
rmli 7 / 10  
Nov 5, 2009   #5
-it can also indicate the society(custom) to some extent.
-If we want to really know someone, a better way is to obtain all the respects of information about him or her.
it is not reasonable and not feasible to get all the information about a person.
it better to get along with him for a period of time .
-I admitted that judging a person only by the external factors is not reasonable.
I need admit that it is not reasonalbe to speculate about what a person really is.

forthemore, I think you can expand your argument form the relation between the appearance and the occupation. such as the priest wears the robe.
tiantianwenzi 3 / 8  
Nov 15, 2009   #6
I am a chinese student who will take toefl test. My essay's structure is similiar with yours.
I think you may focus on SentenceVariety .
Like this "we can figure out what a person interests in to some extent"

We can ,to some extent, figure out what a person interests in .
I learn this recently.


Home / Writing Feedback / TOEFL:External appearances can provide important clues to a person
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳