Unanswered [0] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 4


Experience has ample advantages for people to apply in real life situations


ferhat 1 / 1  
Dec 30, 2012   #1
Hi everyone . I am very new for this forum and this is my first time essay. I need to get 105-110 points on Toefl and I am very bad at writting essays. Could you please check and give suggestions and points that I should improve. Thanks.

Some people think that acquisition of knowledge only dependent on the books. Others think that gained experience is much more important. The issue is a controversial one, but in my opinion a closer examination reveals that experience is the best teacher for several reasons. In this essay I will explain my position providing examples to support my claims.

Topic
It has been said, "Not everything that is learned is contained in books." Compare and contrast knowledge gained from experience with knowledge gained from books. In your opinion, which source is more important? Why?

Essay
One reason is in all our lives we learn elemental knowledge from the books. The knowledge in the books is limited and sometimes overlapping ,obstructing the improvement of a person in some ways. For example, from the books one may learn not how to build a good relationship with peers. On the other hand, throughout our lives experience permeate to our character,and teach about things we like to do and thing we do not. For example, in the college the debates in groups teach us how to create our decisions expeditiously.

Another reason is in today's world aspect of the most successful people is different than that of successful people 20 years ago.In today's world experience is much more important than that of in the past. To illustrate this point, let's take the example of working experience. Today most companies are searching for candidates, who do have a solid experience.From this fact we can assume working experience teach us how to improve our faults, how to build improve our relationships with collegues ,and how to be the person each one of us want to be.Because these companies are looking for candidates who can express themselves ,efficiently and clearly ,and overcome the most challenging tasks.Therefore, experience is monumental in today's world,and adherence to books will only confine the person's creativeness and success.

On the other hand, some may argue that books teach a lot in school, in worklife and in every aspect of life . These individuals may point to examples of professors and scientists. I agree that books do provide knowledge and that gaining knowledge from the books are indisputable. However, these professors and scientists are not solely adhered to books. Their astounding success comes from their integral adaptation to their past experience, and their contemplatations how to improve themselves from these past experiences.

In summary, while there are arguments to be made for both sides, it is clear that there are greater advantages of experiences for people to gain better knowledge because of the above mentioned reasons. Certainly,I believe, experience has ample advantages for people to apply in real life situations when compared with books.
OP ferhat 1 / 1  
Dec 30, 2012   #2
valeriadavila01
Dear Valeria

Thank you very much for your help about grammatical correction and meaning. Can you give me any suggestions about?

Is structure clearly organized ?
Is the essay used enough exemplifications?
Does it show unity, progression and coherence?
Is the word choice idiomatic and appropriate?

I do thank again and again :)
anonymous1 2 / 3  
Dec 30, 2012   #3
nice job:)
i think since some one has already corrected the grammatical mistakes, i'm gonna answer your posed questions i hope i helped :)
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
Dec 31, 2012   #4
One reason is in all our lives we learn elemental knowledge from the books.

... This is confusing. What's the reason? ... also, it is "elementary knowledge"

This is your introduction. Here what you should do is, you should introduce the topic and then state your opinion. Don't give examples in the introduction. In your body paras you should give reasons and specific examples to support your reasons.


Home / Writing Feedback / Experience has ample advantages for people to apply in real life situations
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳