Please comment my essay as I am going to submit my application.
Tell us about your personal experience of issues related to the UNAOC mandate and how this affects the work that you currently do or hope to do in the future? (Maximum 250 words)
Indonesia has more than 300 ethnic groups, and those are different compared with other ASEAN countries whereas those countries are commonly believed that those have stemmed from both proximity and serumpun (kinship) spirit. This condition has grabbed my attention in that sensitivity is becoming far higher especially when it comes to facing ASEAN Community.
When ASEAN Culture Week was held at University Malaya, Malaysia several years ago, I had been facing a difficulty to organize a discussion among other participants from different ASEAN countries as it was extremely sensitive when we had been discussing about religion and language during the programs. I have been fascinated that the event which purpose to reduce a tension between ASEAN students had succeeded to promote tolerance and reconciliation.
The experience has generated a great deal of ideas about my though, and it is effecting my career at the moment, I have implemented several ideas that I got in ASEAN culture week to organize senator programs in terms of Fostering Peaceful, Inclusive Societies and Countering Radicalization in Indonesia. Furthermore, there is a very real possibility that the experience has affected my innovation on planning project which others youth activists from ASEAN Countries and I are planning for in the end of this year. What's more, as a graduate (majoring international relations), I will promote a peaceful dialog and tolerance in the programs as it will be an interesting event, and it can build step stone to be "unity in diversity".
What international events or programs have you participated in related to your line of work and the work of UNAOC and EF? What did you learn in these instances and what do you feel you still need to learn or develop from participating in such programs? What was a highlight or challenge of learning with and from people of different cultures, faiths, and countries? (Maximum 250 words)
Unity in Diversity. These words which are a slogan of ASEAN community have drawn my attention to devote my self-involving in an annual big international event, It is commonly known as Indonesian + ASEAN youth Jamboree. In 2014, I dedicated myself to be a head of steering committee in the event which was held in Yogyakarta, Western of Indonesia. By 10 months preparation, I and my team had been successful in making the event becoming more incredible as we designed the event by considering cultural and religion dissimilarity among participants.
In the event, I have made in-deep discussion in terms of religion and cultural diversity. I was tremendously enthusiastic about the discussion as I had learned how to make differences especially in religion and cultural becoming a key role to make integrity. As a consequence, I proposed a big event which related to the topics in the end of this year, and delegates from other countries accepted my idea at the meantime. At the moment, I and several youth representatives from ASEAN countries are preparing the event to be held in Jakarta at the end of this year. Therefore, there is no doubt in my mind to increase my knowledge in cultural and religion diversity prior to the event as it can be a great challenge for myself to lead several people which have different backgrounds, ideas, cultures, and religion.
How do you expect your participation in the Summer School will impact your professional and community activity? What plans do you have after the School and what platform or network do you have in place to apply your new skills? What relevant follow-up activities do you intend to conduct to advance the objectives of the Summer School? (Maximum 250 words)
I am working for Regional Representative Council as a special staff (the youngest staff) of senator members, In the committee III which concerns in the sector of education, religion, culture, youth and sport. Therefore, I strongly believe that the summer school can give benefits for my future career as International experiences are required to pursue my higher grade in the institution. Moreover, as one of youth activists which lead several youth organizations from a regional level to a national level, I will share what I get in the summer school to my organizations.
I have several ambitious planning which consists of short-term and long-term projects. As I mention in the previous answer, I plan to make a program which is my short-term planning, called "Unity in Cultural and Religion Diversity" to further discussion from Indonesia + ASEAN youth Jamboree 2014. Thus, if it is possible, I will invite several participants in the summer school to engage in the program which will be held in the end of this year. What's more, my employers and I plan to make a big event to organize an international conference that mainly concerns in conflict resolution on cultural diversity in the end of 2016.
I think your 2nd and 3rd essay are good. However, I think you should explain why your experience in ASEAN is so important. I know you are fascinated, but why it did not spark tension? Is it because of your effort? You, as one of the organizers, should use a few words to claim your contributions on that meeting.
thank you very much for your suggestion, however, I hope you can give me an example and underline my sentence that you mean in your comment previously. what's more, I need more suggestions whether my answers are already answering the question or not.
I also hope that other members of EF can give me a suggestion inasmuch as it is 4 days left to submit the essay while I still need suggestion and constructive advice for my writing to make it becoming more effective.
In any case, I have written more than 250 words in the second answer, could you give me a suggestion to reduce the word without remove some ideas or messages that I want to express?
