Employee should have chance to select their retirement age

Topic: In some countries the average worker is obliged to retire at the age of 50, while in others people can work until they are 65 or 70. Meanwhile, we see some politicians enjoying power well into their eighties. Clearly, there is little agreement on an appropriate retirement age. Until what age do you think people should be encouraged to remain in paid employment?

Today, in the most country, the idea for retirement age is raising. But there are many factors to be considered and discussed about appropriate retirement age. Personally, I think the government should discard mandatory retirement. In this essay I will analyses the issue in details.

First, there are a lot of occupations not having retirement age such as scientist, artist (singer, poet, actor...), politicians... I believe that most of them who are workaholic prefer to work until they die. They would not be happy sitting home everyday when they are used to going to work. For instance, Mrs. Schweer is the oldest politician in American. Now she is 105 years old but she still works with diligence.

Second, Facts have shown that retirement age regulations are a waste of grey matter. There are many executives who are formally trained must retire while they have still full health to work. In addition, the elder often have so many experience work, they have ability to deal with unexpected event in work. Therefore, there is no reason most the public can not working till 65 or more. The government should continue hire elder if they want to work.

Last but not least, employee should retire when physical conditions no longer allow the person to work more. The government can not require them to continue working at the age of 55 or more when they have strenuous work. Some occupations should retire early because nature of the work such as builder, stonemason, welder...to name but a few. They should retire when they feel ready want to take care for their health, pursue hobbies and enjoy the "fruits of their labor". But some people must face with the finance issue, they need to save more money each year before retire.

To sum up, deciding when to retire is a might difficult decision for many people. Retirement age should depend on what type of lifestyle to lead in retirement. Employee should have chance to select their retirement age.

Please give me your comment.Thank!

Today, in the mostmany countries , the idea for retirement age is raising. But(do not start a sentence with "BUT") there are many factors to beshould be considered and discussed about an appropriate retirement age. Personally, I think the government should discard mandatory retirement. In this essay I will analyzeses the issue in details (As I suggest other people in this forum, it would be better to write the reasons of your opinion. This reasons should be written through several words. In this way you can show that the body will encompass what issues. For more information you can google "blueprint in writing essay" to get my point. A "Blueprint", in fact, is the outline of the body) .

Regards
Ahmad

Hi, anyone knows how to improve ielts writing to achieve band 6 ? I have sat on IELTS for almost the third times, and I will take third my IELTS tomorrow :/

For addition : first : 5 band on writing, second 5.5, and the third I really hop I can get band 6
I am quite confused with coherence and cohesion. Can anyone help me with this situation ? Thank you very much.

I start with the differences between the concepts of "coherence" and "cohesion" in writing. "Coherence" refers to a reasonable relationship between sentences. For this purpose, you should use good transitional terms, and related examples as supporting sentences. "cohesion" refers to the ideas' connection. For providing a good relationships among your ideas you should organize your essay before writing it. I have written some templates for different types of topics that may help you to improve the cohesion and organization of your essay.

Type1: Agree or Disagree
Introduction: (Motivator/General back ground; Thesis statement/reword the topic; Your opinion (Agree or Disagree); Blueprint)
Body: Explain your opinion (agree or disagree) through two or three paragraphs. Use statistics, examples, quotations, researches' results, etc, for supporting the topic sentence of each paragraph.

Conclusion: (Reword the first paragraph or the topic + clincher(ending statement))

Type 2: Multiple questions:
Introduction: (Motivator/General back ground; Thesis statement/reword the topic; Blueprint)
Body: First paragraph (Answer the first question which is asked in the topic)
Second paragraph (Answer the second question which is asked in the topic)
Conclusion: (Reword the first paragraph or the topic +Give your opinion+ clincher(ending statement))

Type 3: Advantages and disadvantages
The introduction and conclusion in this type is similar to type 2 but in the body you should write one paragraph for advantages and one para. for disadvantages. It would be better to compare them in the third paragraph of the body.

Type 4: Cause and effect:
The introduction and conclusion in this type is similar to type 2 but the body is different. You can choose on of the following ways for writing the body : 1) in each paragraph write a cause of an issue and its effects. In fact, you should write one cause and one effect in each paragraph; 2) write one paragraph about causes and one para. about effects.

Type 5: A Problem and Solutions
The introduction and conclusion in this type is similar to type 2 but in the body you should allocate one paragraph to the problem stated in the topic and write another paragraph for suggesting some solutions.

Regards
Ahmad

The introduction and conclusion in this type is similar to type 2 but in

It is quite embarrassing to talk about this issue. I know that there are a lot of problems in my writing. Also I have a lot of problems grammar, sentence structure, organize sentences... This is the first time I join essay forum therefore thank you so much about your comment. I will more and more try. I wish everybody can continue help me better. Thank you so much!