As a result of the
in medical technology ,people
able to live longer than they used to be. However, the
influences attended by the factors
increasing life expectancy are becoming hot-bottom issues because both individuals and society are largely impacted in varied
pects. Here you could start another sentence giving an example of how other aspects of peoples' lives are effected.
Obviously,individuals are the main beneficiaries of rising life expectancy. Don't need this
In fact, living longer provides
many advantages economically and spiritually. For example, elderly people nowadays are required to retire later because many countries are
to postpone the age of retirement due to the aging problems.That is to say, individuals are able to get more wages which help them
to better improve
the economic situation. Here you bring up an economic situation but don't address it or explain what that situation is.
Furthermore, living longer also offers
to enjoy their
lives or realize the plans that can not be achieved in the past. I'm not quite sure what you're trying to say in the bolded. Re-write this or start a new sentence
For instance, many elderly people tend to travel around after retirement
being a because it is an
important and healthy
to enrich the later years
On the other hand, aging issues influence
society in different aspects as well, such as
profitably and adversely. First of all, government benefits from these tendencies because more tax could be levied on
working elderly but pay
less in pensions.
which This could
alleviate the financial strain
For the second Secondly
, employers are able to develop faster as more people are engaged
in working positions.
,besides that, In addition,
old people tend to possess more experience in jobs,
being brain powers which is beneficial
for companies. Lastly, people do not profit from the aging problems without expenses. For example,
the increasing life expectancy
bring into the causes
other problems such as overpopulation, the
tension of resources allocation allocation of resources
and job unemployment.
all of these are worsening the development of our society As a result the development of society is being effected in a negative way.
Each time you start a new sentence it needs to be seperated from the sentence before it with a space.
"The economy is in a bad state. There are many factors contributing to this..." There always has to be a space between sentences. It keeps everything from being cluttered.
Also, when you insert a comma you need to have a space after it. For example, like this.