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[Ielts] effects of living longer for individuals and society.


answers: 2
Apr 23, 2011, 08:34am   #1
Pls help to check.Thank you all.

People are living longer but increased life expectancy has many implications for the aging individuals and for society as a whole .
What are the possible effects of longer living for individuals and society?


As a result of advancement in medical technology ,people nowadays are able to live longer than they used to be.However,the influences attended by the increasing life expectancy are becoming hot-bottom issues because both individuals and society are largely impacted in varied respects.

Obviously,individuals are the main beneficiaries of rising life expectancy.In fact,living longer provides them many advantages economically and spiritually.For example,elderly people nowadays are required to retire later because many countries are proposing to postpone the age of retirement due to the aging problems.That is to say,individuals are able to get more wages which help them to better the economic situation.Furthermore,living longer also offer people more chances to enjoy the lives or realize the plans that can not be achieved in the past.For instance,many elderly people tend to travel around after retirement,being a important way which helps to enrich the later years of life.

On the other hand,aging issues influence the society in different aspects as well,profitably and adversely.First of all,government benefits from these tendencies because more tax could be levied on from working elderly but pays less in pensions, which help to alleviate the financial strain of government.For the second,employers are able to develop faster as more people are engage in working position,besides that,old people tend to possess more experience in jobs,being brain powers for companies.Lastly,people do not profit from the aging problems without expenses.The increasing life expectancy bring into the other problems such as overpopulation,the tension of resources allocation and job unemployment,all of these are worsening the development of our society.

To conlclude,aging issues are continue to exert effects on entire human races,despite willing or not.Whether it would be beneficial or adverse for us is not yet to know and hinge on the efforts that the government would make.

findthetime:
As a result of the advancements in medical technology ,people nowadays are now able to live longer than they used to be. However, the influences attended by the factors increasing life expectancy are becoming hot-bottom issues because both individuals and society are largely impacted in varied resaspects. Here you could start another sentence giving an example of how other aspects of peoples' lives are effected.


findthetime:
Obviously,individuals are the main beneficiaries of rising life expectancy. Don't need this In fact, living longer provides them many advantages economically and spiritually. For example, elderly people nowadays are required to retire later because many countries are proposing starting to postpone the age of retirement due to the aging problems.That is to say, individuals are able to get more wages which help them to better improve the economic situation. Here you bring up an economic situation but don't address it or explain what that situation is. Furthermore, living longer also offers people more chances opportunities to enjoy their lives or realize the plans that can not be achieved in the past. I'm not quite sure what you're trying to say in the bolded. Re-write this or start a new sentence For instance, many elderly people tend to travel around after retirement being a because it is an important and healthy way which helps to enrich the later years of in life.


findthetime:
On the other hand, aging issues influence the society in different aspects as well, such as profitably and adversely. First of all, government benefits from these tendencies because more tax could be levied on from the working elderly but pays less in pensions. which This could help to alleviate the financial strain of on government. For the second Secondly, employers are able to develop faster as more people are engaged in working positions.,besides that, In addition, old people tend to possess more experience in jobs, being brain powers which is beneficial for companies. Lastly, people do not profit from the aging problems without expenses. For example, the increasing life expectancy bring into the causes other problems such as overpopulation, the tension of resources allocation allocation of resources and job unemployment.all of these are worsening the development of our society As a result the development of society is being effected in a negative way..


Each time you start a new sentence it needs to be seperated from the sentence before it with a space.
For example...

"The economy is in a bad state. There are many factors contributing to this..." There always has to be a space between sentences. It keeps everything from being cluttered.

Also, when you insert a comma you need to have a space after it. For example, like this.
However,the influences attended by theconsequences of increasing life expectancy are becoming hot-bottom issues because both individuals and society are largely impacted in varied respects.----You have a nice way of writing!

No need to say "For the second." Just do this:
Second, employers are able to develop faster ...

To conlclude,aging issues are continue to exert effects on entire human race, whether we like it or not.

Whether it would be beneficial or adverse for us is not yet to know, and the outcome hinges on the efforts that the government would make.

:-)



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