Unanswered [6] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3


Some effects of Internet addiction lead to consequences like health problems or relationships damage


nguyenvannam 5 / 11  
May 18, 2015   #1
Internet is an equipment which help people connecting with each other in the nearly decades. However, it may lead to addiction with people who cannot control themselves. This essay will explore some causes and effects of internet addiction.

One of the primary causes of internet addiction is that children lack instructions from people who have responsibilities such as parents or teachers.
To illustrate, children have not geting majority to distinguish what are either useful or not to control themselves, Therefore, they are more likely to be addicted on the internet. Parents and teachers sometimes pay attentions to their works, do not spend their time to take care their children. In some case, with divorce family, just only single parent can not support (adequate appropriate / proper) education. For example, a lot of pupils in HCMC are addicted by playing game online which is result from their parents are a lack of taking care their children appropriately.

Other cause of internet addiction is exploding of social networking such as Twister or Facebook. In fact, today youth are really attracted by new communication equipments absolutely conveniently. They help all people to connect immediately with what are happening. However, people especially youth may be addicted by staying online status too much time. It may lead them to addict Internet. For example, some students spend for a lot of time in day to upload pictures and comments on their Facebook profiles and also to wait some other's respond. They are more likely to be addicted by Facebook.

Both causes may lead to some consequences. One of some consequences of Internet addiction is health problem. In fact, people spend too much time for online may lead to unfair life style. They lack time for rest or sleeping, a lack of doing exercise. Therefore, they have become slightly weaker day by day. For example, the information from Tuoitre.online said that a young boy in HCMC died by spending over two days for game online without feeding.

Another consequence is breaking to relationship with other people. To explain, people concentrate too much time for online which may lead to lack communication skills such as persuading skill, presentation skill. Therefore, they may lost some relationships with others. For example, in Japan there are a lot of young people hikikomori who are affected by using Internet without limiting.

In conclusion, it can be seen that there are lots of causes of Internet addiction such as a lack of taking care from adults on their children and exploding new online programs. Some these causes may lead to consequences like health problems or destroying relationship. Therefore, each person needs to self-prepare to protect ourselves in front of developing of online programs
justivy03 - / 2,366 607  
May 19, 2015   #2
- One of the primary causes of internet addiction is that children lack instructionsguidance from people who have responsibilities such as parents or teachers.

- To illustrate, children haveare not getting majority to distinguish what are either useful or not to control themselves,

- In some case, with divorce family, just only single parent can not support (adequate appropriate / proper)proper education.

- For example, a lot of pupils in HCMC are addicted byto playing game online which is result from their parents are a lack of taking care for their children appropriately.

- Other cause of internet addiction is exploding of social networking such as TwisterTwitter or Facebook.

- In fact, today youth are really attracted bynew communication equipments which absolutely convenientlyconvenient .

- For example, the information from Tuoitre.online said that a young boy in HCMC died by spending over two days for game online without feedingeating .

- In conclusion, it can be seen that there are lots of causes of Internet addiction such as a lack of taking care from adults on their children and exploding new online programs.

- Therefore, each person needs to self- prepare andto protect ourselvesthemselves in front of developing of online programs

Vannam,

Your essay is good. You were able to explain yourself quiet well and you stick to the subject. However I have a few points for you;

- the use of "by" versus "to" in a sentence, when referring to your subject, you use "to" and "by" is use if its the cause of the action in your sentence.

Keep Writing

Cheers!!!
OP nguyenvannam 5 / 11  
May 19, 2015   #3
Thank you so much for your help !
I will try to improve my writing day by day due to your advises.

Once again, thank you so much


Home / Writing Feedback / Some effects of Internet addiction lead to consequences like health problems or relationships damage
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳